My New Years Week

Last NYE was crazy. This time last year I was stressed out and planning details, rentals, food, tickets, outfits. It was a lot. And the night was amazing. Seriously, amazing. And this year will be perfect as well. Last year was almost a rite of passage. I had gotten sick, laid off and changed my living situation. I survived and threw one hell of a prom. This year, life is stable and normal and the night will be too.

Friends, drinks, food, local bar. Done. However, this week is my celebration. The night is just the night. I only work a couple hours today, exchange a Christmas present for something cute and new at a local fav boutique, go for 2 hours of total spa relaxation, and then come home to my absolutely favorite meal of pepperocini pot roast in the crock pot. Today is close to perfect. Except tomorrow is my last day of work this week and we're having an in-store event, which is always a lot of fun. Followed by mimosas on The Boulevard my alma mater in a bowl game the next day and three days off! Throw in another spa appointment in those three days and a little shopping with Christmas money and this, my friends, is a perfect week.

Cheers to ending 2010 relaxing and enjoying the great things in my life: my store, shopping, football, family and Boo. So happy to relax and enjoy Boo this week.

Things that make me smile today

1. Winter candle from Bath & Body Works

2. Manheim Steamroller "Carol the Bells" (always been a fav since I was little)

3. Glee Christmas "Welcome Christmas"

4. Cold weather

5. A weekend off

6. Shopping this weekend for presents

7. My mom's present: Christmas tea at the Arboretum next week

8. My ET "Spencer" boots

9. My SMU baseball tee

10. Painting my nails red

11. Our Christmas tree at home and in-store

12. My seat warmers

13. Working with Nicole

14. Champagne with Molls last night and at the store today

15. Upcoming bowl games!

16. White Cheddar Rice Cakes

17. Cherry Almond Zone Bars

18. Lunch just the family girls next week at Seasons

19. Having so many things that make me smile

20. Scotty's Bday party tomorrow night!

21. Baking a cake and making appetizers (and having the time to do so) tomorrow

22. Misty at work with me today

23. Having a Friday night off to be with Boo

Welcome Christmas

I found my Christmas spirit. It was hiding in the Glee Christmas song "Welcome Christmas" from the Grinch. The music sinks into the background and I never truly listen. This song has probably played over a dozen times and I've never truly heard it. But this morning, it came on and with the first harmony I found myself frozen, listening, smiling and almost teary-eyed.

It's Christmas.

The New Christmas

It's Christmas, y'all. Are you ready? I, most definitely, am not. What in the world do you get for an ESL Venezuelan missionary brother-in-law that lives in Kentucky? Que? And I'm fairly certain what I've picked out (not yet purchased) for my sister is exactly what I gave her last year. Not such a good thing. Especially since I can't remember.

One week to go. Do you have all your presents? Waiting for a sale? Or just no time to buy? I think as adults Christmas isn't so much a season as another thing on the to do list. And if you have kids, something you create for your children to experience. But the "experience" of Christmas I remember for so long, hasn't existed in my life in years.

Living in NYC, the weather dropped, it snowed and Christmas decor was everywhere. People were on vacation, "experiencing" the Holidays. That made it actually easier to feel being up there. But here, where it's 70-degrees one day and life is so busy I can't find time to let nail polish dry, it just doesn't feel like a festive season for family, friends, fireplaces and hot chocolate.

So what is Christmas to an adult? I'm still searching for that answer. Any help out there? I'll keep my Winter candle lit (which smells divine!) and Christmas music on the IPod, turn on the tree lights every time I'm home and maybe attempt some hot cinnamon tea for special effect. I'll let you know if it starts to work before next week.

Successful Fooding

The holidays are here. I have bypassed my Bah Humbug, but am not quite at Happy Holidays yet. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle with a massive stressed out to do list and nothing in my bank account. It pushes the mood back towards Bah Humbug quite easily, but... I'm working on it, people!

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I will call it a successful food endeavor. Food is a touch dicey for me at times, given the whole medical condition thing, but I survived. It was possibly questionable at times, but I learned a couple lessons and am all the better for it. I shall explain.

I made the best healthy sides. Last year I conquered the whole meal due to a last minute hospital trip for my Mamaw, but this year was spent with Boo & Co at the lake. So I made sides. I had to make sides. I was faced with casserole and die-if-you-eat-casserole and might-not-want-to-risk-it-casserole. I will admit, topped with the fact that it was my first Thanksgiving not with any of my own family or friends, I was upset. I feel like there are a handful of places in the world I can expect that I don't have to work so hard to be "normal." That there will be something for me to eat just because. I know I'm different and it's not everyone else's problem. But this was one of those places. (Expectations will bite you every time. Ouch.)

I shed a couple tears; I called my Mom for a "missing home" talk and moved on. What other choice did I have? So I made my own mashed cauliflower and cider-cinnamon sweet potatoes. They were good. They were actually great. And I had seconds of both, tossed the rest (as no one else enjoyed my personal sides) and lost 4 lbs over the last week.

Yup - you read that right.

So that's my successful fooding reward. Suck it up. Move on. Take care of your self so that you can enjoy the time with everyone and the conversation and know that you are losing weight while everyone else is gaining. That's right.

A Song For Boo

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.

It did not disappoint

I spent last weekend in NYC and it was awesome! My fantabulous Boo got up basically in the middle of the night to take me to the airport and see me off to spend some time with my girls. And spend time we did. Brunch at new West Village hotspot August, spotting celebs on the street, walking aimlessly through the historic streets, wandering in and out of unique and cute shops, stores and boutiques. I was starved for urban, fashionable, independent life and I got it!

We curled up on the couch with a bottle of red to wait out the night, chatted and had good girly time. Then painted the town with old friends, ending at Cibar - the most awesome, fabulous, fantastic martini bar outside of Union Square. I can't believe it's still there, considering I went 6 years ago!

Sunday was full of walking, shopping, mimosas, more champagne, wine, wine and a little more wine. The best and cutest that Brooklyn has to offer. I love it! Even though the weather SUCKED on Monday, it was still a day of friends, memories and great food.

I super miss that city, but I triple miss my friends. And I'm glad to have had the break so I feel fashionably and personally invigorated for my own version of reality down here in the South.

Don't worry about throwing me a parade

So this morning was the Step Out 5K. I've been gearing up for it since the day I was diagnosed last year. I've seen pictures and videos of walks in other cities or for other diseases. I needed this day as a celebration of what I've conquered this last year. Yes, I am supported, but no one truly understands what it's like unless they actually understand what it's like. I wanted a red shirt and hat, to be an out and proud diabetic. I didn't want to finagle my tester and sugar pills into a clutch, hide my pump in my clothes and still feel cute. I wanted to fit in. And I wanted to be celebrated.

As with any event for thousands of people, it was very unorganized. After standing in three different lines, we were all checked in and received our Tshirts. So I headed to the Red tent, which was sad, empty, cold and had nothing but a simple cotton hat. Even the "freebies" from the restaurant sponsors seemed confused they were at a diabetes event. They had lemonade and sugar muffins, drinks without carbs listed, etc. My family stocked up on the goodies while I kept to the breakfast I'd meticulously selected for the walk. Nothing at my fundraiser that celebrated me or made me feel that inclusion I'd been hoping for.

Then we stood around without guidance for an hour. Suddenly, people start walking. No cheering, no gun, no yelling, nothing to start it out except noticing a herd of people start out towards the marked track. So off we went. I listened to my IPod and intermittently talked with my Mom - my Dad and boyfriend walking behind us. No one cheered, no one seemed to care. And I realized something.

I wanted this to be a celebration, to make me feel rewarded for figuring this thing out for the last year. But it was just another day as a diabetic. I walked the 3.2 miles, focusing internally to make sure my blood sugar was good, held my water so I'd stay hydrated and walked as if it was any other day. I had my super small, tight support group that's been there since day one, but it was pretty much any other day. There is no celebration and there won't ever be. I'm sick. I deal with it. And I will continue to do so every day - without a parade.

and 3, and 2, and 1...

My nails are "Lincoln Park After Dark", my Uggs are cleaned (and I'm breaking them in today), my new Kors Michael Kors red peacoat a la Costco is by the wayside on the ready and my cutest leggings tops and tunics have been folded.

Just 8 more hours of work to go (already concquered 1) and it's time!! NYC! NYC! Chant with me now...NYC!

Off to tie up some loose ends at work and entrust the store to my trusty busty sidekick. Some last minute sales training and motivating and hopefully the store will pull out of its current hole while I'm gone. Probably not - but maybe. But I will be in NYC with my best friends, enjoying time just hanging out, laughing, catching up and walking around. I'm going to be a tourist with my camera; I want to bring as much of the city back with me as I can.

This is the most excited I've been for anything in years. Years, people. It's just so friggin' exciting!!

Yes, yes, yes

I am going to NYC in less than 48 hours!!! Stoked! I'm stoked. I haven't been back in 2...almost 3 years. I need this. I truly need to get back to that city, where I felt completely secure and confident (for the most part). Where I found myself. I don't mean in some cheesy made for tv movie way, but in a real and honest way. I spent my life being what everyone around me wanted or needed and there I was me. I worried about me. I loved my friends and roommates; I pushed my personal boundaries and really became comfortable in my own skin. I wish everyone had an opportunity to know themselves as well as I did in NYC.

And I'm getting to go back. To breathe again. And see my girls. And feel completely free for just a couple days. I know the decisions I make when I'm in NYC are truly my decisions - free from the pressure of wondering what someone else thinks. I am just so blissfully anticipatory.

And I got new boots for the occasion, which I have a severe crush on. I bought them outright. No sale. No coupon. No discount store. Not my style at all, but it felt good. So my boots and I are going to NYC, in less than 48 hours.

Ma fleur

Possibly the best song ever. I first heard it in a commercial, which was also brilliant. Those Chivas commercials are such amazing aspirational lifestyle moments. I've watched them with my friends in the south who look at it as an actual aspirational life. But I feel like I'm looking at my old roommates and friends in NYC when I watch that commercial.

Just having a moment on the couch. Loving the song.

New desire

So which one do I get?

Anniversary Day

Today is my double anniversary. It's a gorgeous day with crisp Fall air and I'm rocking my Rangers shirt and cream suede croc boots. It's my boots first day out of the box this season and they do not disappoint.

Two years ago today, Boo and I sat at The Quarter and over a Tito's and a glass of red wine I said, "So I guess you're kind of my boyfriend." We'd been dating for four months, but due to other circumstances in life I wouldn't claim him until I knew for absolute sure. And Oct 28th, 2008, I knew. And he ran with it.

Last year on this same day, I sat at the doctor's office with my Mom after months of sickness, issues and feeling absolutely terrible almost every minute of every day and was diagnosed with Type-1 Diabetes. Happy Anniversary.

I'm celebrating my one year with a 5K and the 2 fundraisers I've done over this last year for the ADA. And I'm celebrating the second - well, I hope we celebrate. I'm at work now and we're meeting at The Quarter to watch baseball. It is the biggest series of the year and our team is playing so I get it. But I do hope there's more to it than this. I left post it notes all over the house with the million reasons I love him (in his bathroom drawer, on the mirror, on the Splenda jar, on the front door, on his computer, on the dog's collar, on his car, etc) and he doesn't know yet, but I also got a gift certificate for dinner at our new favorite "affordable" restaurant up by the store.

So Happy Double Anniversary to me. I've survived the last two years and changed physically, mentally and emotionally - all for the better.

Cheers!

Joyous Occasion

Holy toes hurt, batman. I have been on my feet all day. And even though I'm in my comfy flat boots, I am tired. I've sold 4.8x goal for the day and caught us back up for the month after a tornado-y, rainy, no sale weekend. Thanks for that whole "biggest baseball game of the year" thing Rangers. It's paying my rent in sales!

But there is way more to be excited about than that. This week on Thursday I will have been a Type-1 diabetic for one year. As well, I will have been in a happy, healthy relationship for two years. Both on the same day. And Saturday I walk a 5K for the ADA and have beat my fundraising goals already. Also, I just learned my favoritest, cheap NYC store is opening locally Fall of next year AND I have a trip to NYC next weekend!

My bestie and I have been emailing plans back and forth. So far I land Sat morning (used points) and we head to brunch with the old Jones crew. Then we wander and do whatever, hit up a local new wine bar just opened in Billyburg and find a neighborhood for drinks that night so I can let anyone and everyone know to say hello! Sunday we do a nice dinner the two of us and I have all day Monday to wander, shop, grab street meat and just enjoy being back. I miss that city so much I could cry (& have).

And the store is a real, true store. It's actually working and coming together and we're getting press and word of mouth is spreading like wildfire. I would never have had the guts to do this or the motivation without Boo; well, and actually without diabetes. When you have to change everything about your life into a fight for survival you learn that you can fight for anything and my dreams were worth fighting for. What a great year.

Yes, the true calendar starts over at NYE every year, but for me I'm about to turn a year old. And I couldn't be happier about this last year and where it's brought me personally, socially, romantically - everything! So I suppose Happy Bday to me. I'm going to celebrate right now by closing up shop, going home, ordering in from our fav local tapas restaurant and curling up on the couch for some DVR with the boy.

LIR? Why yes, please

Um, it is very important that I say this after my last post...

This has turned around and I am feeling actually pretty happy. I was on the phone with the boy and he made me smile and turned things around for me. And? My dinner arrived and I just had one of the best rolls ever. The LIR from Sushi Zushi. Amaze-balls. Seriously. Edamame, wine, another roll to go. And for dessert? Coffee popsicles from Weight Watchers and frozen raspberries. It's going to be a decent and relaxing night after all.

Bummed

So I guess this is what I always wanted this to be - an online journal for my thoughts that I can get out there in a way that I feel like maybe I'm venting, but really it's just getting everything out to no one. It gives me a way to see my life and how I feel at a particular instance without the clouds of influence and perception in my own head. And that's what this is. That's what this is when one person has looked at my blog in 6 weeks.

The narcissistic side of me just got a black eye, but then I can see my original intent and it also frees me to write whatever I truly feel without worrying about the repercussions of anyone else seeing it.

So here it is: Bummed, bummed, bummed. Tonight I am bummed. I could not have been more excited about getting a sushi dinner with the girls or one girl or any girl. The boy is traveling and there is a huge difference in making my own plans and not thinking about when I'm coming home, or waking him up or answering texts. Just me on my own. And I'm closing at the store the next two nights so this was it. Sushi dinner night. And it was canceled. And not in time to make other plans, but in time to spend $40 on sushi delivery from the closest place I could find, wait an hour on the couch and sit with the dog. (who, by the way, has already gone to bed in the other room).

Am I feeling sorry for myself? Actually, yes. I work my ass of and can't go out ever. I basically gave up my favorite food because my boyfriend is allergic. I'll spend the next two nights at work, crawling home to grab a bite to eat and crash in bed to return the next day. I had one night. Is that everyone else's problem? Not at all. Should they focus on me? No, not really. So the only thing to do is make better plans next time and pray the boy finds a reason to travel. Or just get over my issues of feeling like I have to make him happy all the time.

Chillin'

OMG, a spicy candle and the door propped open to the 70-degree morning outside, wind blowing and all the good songs on the Ipod. Does it get any better?

Part of me wants to stress about cleaning the store, getting the RA shipment out, making a PO for the new order I just placed, etc. But why stress about that? Just get it done! And in the meantime, enjoy the stunning moment from this morning.

That and enjoying positive press for the store? Is there any reason not to be smiling all day?

Healthy TV Dinner

I've spent some time scouring recipes and adapting them to what I know I like. (We're beyond slow at the store today). Because our local boys are in the playoffs and the game is this evening, I made a healthy adaptation of a TV dinner.

Chicken, cut into cubes and tossed in a mixture of whole wheat flour, parmesan cheese, paprika, garlic salt, oregano, parsley, thyme and possibly panko bread crumbs in a ziploc. Put on a baking sheet lined with foil, spray with the Misto and bake on 350.

Boil green beans and toss with onion and pancetta, salt & pepper.

And the best part...pumpkin brownies with cream cheese frosting. I don't know if I want to top with cream cheese or mix in. Nutmeg, Cinnamon, Ginger, Whole wheat flour, Canned pumpkin, buttermilk, egg (traditional cake stuff), either topped or mixed with cream cheese frosting (splenda, lemon juice, vanilla, cream cheese) and baked like a cake then cut into brownie squares.

So excited!!!

UPDATE: Everything fantastic, but the pumpkin brownies are way better with cool whip and maybe the fresh raspberries in the fridge. Cream cheese was too much for the spice of pumpkin, but the "brownie" flavor is divine!

Pig Races

I seriously just love this fat, slow brown pig. The others are racing as fast as they can and this little guy is just out to enjoy the scene.

Love him!

Conundrum Time

I'm slowly figuring out my conundrum of life - how to de-stress, stay happy, focused and social, all while in a productive and happy relationship with both myself and my significant other.

Aren't we all? Can I please meet the person who believes they have the recipe? Seriously.

So I've come up with a small way to help myself with this quandry - be a little selfish. I don't mean in the "I want one, so give it to me" sense. But in the" take time for myself and light a candle because I need it, or take a bath even though it takes up the bathroom an extra 10 minutes and tell everyone to just hush it for at least 15 minutes a day for a quiet time" kind of way. That will keep me chill and sane and in turn makes me more able to love and appreciate those around me, as well as myself. Now to actually find that time every day...

First step was to actually pay someone to professionally clean the entire apartment. And since Boo is leaving town for almost a week, I know it will stay clean at least that long. Ugh, so nice.

Great State Fair

I just got back from the State Fair. It was actually a really monumental moment for me. I've only been to the fair twice in my life, the second being this evening. And it was a perfect remedy for memories from the first time.

A couple of years ago I went to the fair for my engagement pictures. Yes, engagement pictures. They were perfect. It was like moments of happiness and an amazing love story captured in time. The real truth is that he was pissy and annoyed before the pictures were over...true to form. But it's the only memory I have of the fair - the rides, the fun house and the picture in front of the Midway.

So tonight I went with Boo and we went in style. Our friend is a Lieutenant and in charge of security for the entire shabang and got is in VIP. We were escorted to private parking and taken in the golf cart through the back entrance. Saved $45 in tickets and parking right there. We drank beer, ate sausage on a stick and split a corndog. I won a tigger-ish stuffed Tiger and we watched a pig race. (my favorite moment ever!) It was hot, tiring, crowded and perfect. Best of all, we're home on the couch, feet on the coffee table with TV and food, Misty on the floor. This time, the fair ended well. No pictures to prove it, but that's OK. I'm glad to take these steps, even if I'm the only one that ever knows the meaning in them.

Pure Relax-ment

I could not be happier in this exact moment. I found the cure for my bad moods. A bona fide fix-it, sort of a thing. I took Monday morning and got a half off massage at a 4-star hotel spa. Yes, half off. And those smart kids have left me with two more coupons, meaning I will keep returning. It's the cost of a slightly nicer than normal place with all my coupons. But, holy crap, worth it.

So I got an hour long aromatherapy massage on Monday preceded with THE fluffiest, comfiest robe ever. I want one! Then I got a manicure at the local place by the store with my favorite color "Lincoln Park after Dark." I was sore the entire rest of the day, but have not been anything but happy and relaxed ever since! It's a miracle cure!!

And tonight I found the secret to the most amazing thing ever - the perfect steak. Pretty much, my Dad and Nick & Sam's have been the only people to make me a perfect steak in my whole life. I like a crunchy outside with a rare-medium rare inside. It's actually pretty hard to make. But with the combination of Kuby's filet (buy the frozen 1-day old steak and it's half the price), Saltgrass seasoning mixed with Cavendar's Greek seasoning rubbed in with olive oil, and the cast iron grill I made the most amazing, wonderful, orgasmically fantastic filet. No man has ever made me a filet this perfect (except my Dad). I will forever take over the steak grilling.

I picked up a bottle of $7 red wine that is actually good and I'm in an absolute state of perfection! Off to bed now and then tomorrow I'll be sure and schedule the next round of massage (and pedi) at my new fav 4-star hotel spa. Ugh, heaven.

Way to go, Boys

This is awesome.

The dog days are over

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

And i never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

Me-oh-mi-oh!

Me oh my! I cannot believe I am sitting here in the apt alone listening to the Adult Alternative TV music station! Tea in the old Deeg mug. All I need is my purple lights and I'd feel like I was back in my tiny cave in NYC. Not sure how my living room now feels like that - maybe it's just me that feels like that. (Man, I miss that place). (And I believe with Halloween approaching I could actually find some of those purple lights. Two sets. Bedroom and office).

But I am happy and healthy and all around excited! I just had a little sample sale in my living room. Girls in the building had me bring stuff home for the big fooseball game this weekend. It's quite the shindig down at the beat up stadium south of downtown. OMG, we might even have tickets this year. And, funny thing, I know just where to get a super cute dress for the occasion...

The weather is super Fall-ish in the mornings and apparently cooling again, the store - aka my dream job - is doing amazing, I received a request for an interview in-store next week with a local pub!!!! and I have a wonderful and relaxing massage scheduled for Monday morning. I'm heading to the swanky hotel down the way for a 1/2 off aromatherapy massage. I am stoked. I need a serious, serious relaxation day. I'm going to try and top it off with girls dinner the next night. Done and done.

So needless to say, the uplifting mood is much appreciated and overdue. It's been a long month without any medication and my hormones are happy to be balanced again.

Off to catch up my Rachel Zoe! And drink my floral tea and sit back in my scrubs chilling in my alone time with the dog. *sigh* So nice.

Ugh

I am a yo-yo, a roller coaster, whatever symbolizes up and down. Constantly. All day. I want to beat my own head with a rock. I am one month with no birth control due to my chronic illness and no health insurance company feeling the need to cover me and I am going crazy. Literally. I feel nuts!

I have a condition called PCOS (add it to the list) which means I overproduce testosterone for a female and I get rage. Actually, clinically proven rage. Like a man. But as a female you just don't know what to do because you honestly create enough emotions on your own! So I am PMSing, dealing with some massive back pain from God-knows-what and pissy. Super pissy. I mean, today just blows.

But I'm a total yo-yo about it. On my way in I was smiling and enjoying the radio, thinking about how positive my morning was. Then the idiots on the road began to get to me and I was road raged by the time I got here. Then as I calm down and get into my fashion element I have a great interaction with a customer. Then Boo calls and flips out about sales numbers. Hello! It's 11:30am. Do you think I'm going to have reached goal yet? PS - after yesterday we're up for the month!!

Mood down.

Then I enjoy my lunch and see an awesome football video online and get all happy again, until emails come in that make no sense to me and I just can't even find motivation for my to-do list.

I would suggest just leaving me alone today. Honestly? Probably a best bet...

Don't feed the bears

I mean, enough with today. You know those days where you just can't shake the bad mood, no matter what good happens?

I will preface with PMS. Yes, it is here. Yes, it makes me pissy, sensitive, moody and bloated, which also makes me pissy, sensitive and moody. I tried on four things this morning. Pants that should not be tight were tight. It's not a great start to the day.

Changing clothes lead to me being late. Also because I decided one of my mood lifters would be a gourmet caprese salad for lunch today. And I definitely enjoyed eating it at work! And I made a pot of my new farmer's market coffee, which was also fantastic and helped a wee bit, but took extra time this morning.

Add that we had terrible sales this weekend and it's the first full weekend I've been away from the store - Sucks. If you want something done right... So I've now resigned myself to the fact that I will always be in the store. And how is it that when I'm not here a Saturday sees less than $300 and on a Monday (our typically slowest day of the week) I've doubled that. Seriously? Seriously. I just can't.

I'm working on pitching all of our events, not to mention creating and planning all of the events, and my business partner/boyfriend/pain in the neck lectures me that we need to find ways to drive more traffic into the store. What in the hizzity hell do you think I'm doing by throwing a million parties? It certainly isn't for me, because I'm here over 12 hours on party days; I'm on my feet all day, talking up every single person and still running around managing the store and the actual event details. (bad mood increasing).

But then you get a totally unexpected surprise in your inbox - One of those that you read twice through and then go back to and read again an hour later. It just makes you sit back and take a deep breathe. I actually felt my body let out a deep breathe I've been emotionally holding for years and didn't even realize it. It made me really peaceful. (mood better).

So I sit in limbo, leaning much closer to bad mood. I want to put on sweats and sit at home on the couch eating my whole wheat Pringles or cheddar bunnies. Don't talk to me, just hand me a bottle of wine and the remote and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Or maybe even the end of the week when my clothes fit again.

Perfect Sunday!

This has been the best, cleaned-laundry done-grocery shopping-Target hunting-sheets changed-gourmet dinner-wine-football sort of Sunday! Ugh, I'm in heaven.

The day began with Brunch at a local fav. Then I spent the next two hours traipsing through Target (two different ones) finding the perfect Halloween costume for Misty. OMG, she is the cutest flower ever! Such a perfect costume for her. She's a brat. Well, she's always a brat, but she's a costume brat. She won't wear anything on her head and if it isn't fitted around her back she sits and refuses to walk. So a neck costume is the best and the $4.99 price tag is awesome! And then continued to find a great black and white, snap front flannel. Sometimes you can't beat a good fashion deal from Tar-geh.

The real treat; however, was the farmer's market and cooking. I made an antipasto snack a couple hours before dinner. Fresh spinach, washed and tossed in an olive oil spray, salt, pepper and drip of balsamic vinegar, Mozzarella balls tossed in basil, rosemary and olive oil spray, whole wheat saltines, sliced red bell pepper and salami. Yummers!

Meanwhile, I marinated chicken in lemon rind, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and olive oil. I threw it on the grill a couple hours later; browned pancetta in a skillet with some frozen peas, then tossed with mint, salt and pepper and put whole wheat boucle in the oven. Made a fresh lemon juice, parsley, olive oil sauce for the chicken. SERIOUSLY! So freaking yummy. Topped with my Cupcake Merlot (less than $10) and this night cannot, CANNOT get any better.

Go team!

Stretchoga

This is what I do every morning. I begin my day with my new thing - Stretchoga. I seriously get so intense when I sleep that I cannot touch my toes with my legs straightened in a sitting position first thing in the morning. It's actually my neck that hurts all the way down to my hips that it won't bend over.

So every morning I do my elementary school stretches. Remember those? Sit with my legs out, reach for me toes. Hands in the air, reach again. Cross one leg over and look the opposite way to stretch my back. Other side. Sit butterfly and attempt to bend at the hips. Spread my legs and reach to each side. I can't bend over here. Just spreading my legs into a V hurts enough. Am I old? Um, when did that happen? Then I stretch my neck - the most painful part of my routine. I am a stress head!

Since my work schedule takes up my every evening, I have committed myself to Stetchoga every morning. I may market it. Watch out. Don't take it.

And I did buy some 10 class, $10 thing today, but I have to take the 6:15am class bc, again, my evenings are full with work. Who thinks I can get up in the 5am hour, get to a yoga studio and be ready for a 6:15am class? This is definitely yet to be seen.

I'm going to try and touch my toes again.

Jerks

The neighborhood coffee chain up by the store has deceived me. I walked in the first couple times, seeing adults and business suits - leading me to believe the people inside were professional and classy. I believed the the 'burbs had turned this trendy spot into something almost cozy and friendly.

I was wrong. I was so wrong. I have now developed road rage in the parking lot of said coffee shop multiple days in a row. The over-priveleged, self-indulged and mind you selfish, adults of this 'burb are just as horrible as the 20-something brats living off mommy and daddy by my apartment. In fact, they're worse because they have a good 20 years on the recent grads and younger brats near me. And yes, you're botox doesn't fool me, it's a full 20 years.

Who wants to open an actual neighborhood coffee shop up right next to my store? I'll give you business every day and tell everyone about you! As long as primped, tucked, nipped and rude Mothers, setting the example for how their children behave, don't start frequenting your space.

A Couple of Odes

Ode to my Morning Coffee

Your scent energizes me.
Whether in bed or just out of the shower, running out the door or from the neighborhood coffee spot -
I need to smell you in the mornings.
Loaded with half and half, no sugar please.
The grandest of sizes, perfectly warmed and not too hot.
I take that first sip and feel the tension leave my shoulders.
I envision lazy afternoons with an iced version of you.
Or cold rainy days, in pjs, sipping you on the couch.
My head hurts when we don't meet. So please don't leave me.
Oh dear morning coffee -
I offer a thank you for all that you bring me each and every day.


Ode to my Clogs

I seriously love you.
You make every outfit automatically look worthy of a celebrity
A celebrity that has been wearing you for months,
Even though I just bought you on sale at Target

Ignore all those thoughts I had about you when I first saw you
I may have said you looked stupid and I would never embrace this trend
I laugh at those that wear silly styles just because someone famous puts it on
I've had a change of heart

I can't wait to wear you with wide leg pants and warm sweaters
Or skinny jeans and tunics
You make my legs look killer in my shorts today
I hope you last all season since you were definitely not expensive

But thanks for smiles and confidence
I feel like my old fashionable self when I slide my toes into you
And those 3 1/2" heels give my calves a great workout
So....thanks.

Now I lay me down to sleep

And shut my eyes, fall over asleep right here at the cashwrap. It's seriously about to happen. Small business that we are, we're open on a holiday while every single other business is closed. I've seen humans and even had a decent sale; however, I am about to flat out fall over tired. I was in bed by midnight, but my first day football game of the season has wiped me.

I am not conditioned for the day drink, the break, the night out. I seriously need to just sit back, sleep and recoup before our GRAND OPENING THIS WEEK!! Yuppers, it's that time. And if you're reading this, you should be here. Friday. Be here.

See you then! For now, I'm taking a nap.

Birthdays and Cake!

What a faboosh 24 hours. Seriously. My yesterday morning was a mix of reading in bed, cuddling with the dog, watching terrible reality shows about pageant girls (I mean, awful) and coffee. I ran a couple errands, bought myself a couple things and headed out to a girly night. My first in a while!

Hot Jen was celebrating her 29th, so I took her to a fashion party with catering, champagne and socialites. I bought her cake with 0 calories. You only need a match and it'll smell like you baked for days. And a cute, cute bottle of Bitch Bubbly. Don't know what it tastes like, but it looked so girly! It doesn't get any better! Except that the deals at our fashion night were amazing and we both walked away with more than we should have spent, but spending way less than everything was worth. And then we trekked it to our favorite reverse happy hour spot for drinks, apps and dessert. What a fantastic night!

And now I'm sitting in the store after what is about to be out most successful day since we opened (6 weeks ago tomorrow), with a glass of hot green tea, pretending it's chilly out and football is about to start. The football part is actually true, but it's a balmy 92 outside. So I'm sitting inside in the A/C with my tea and enjoying my fantasy. That and Boo is handling dinner tonight. It's probably pizza, but at least there'll be candles. And I have tomorrow AND Sunday off. I love my life!

Here's to perseverance and dealing with the crap life deals you, waiting it out until you can reap the rewards.

Oh and a side note, the old place I used to manage, the one that screwed me over and tossed me on the curb - closing. Karma. I'm just saying. Karma.

Fashion Diet

I am on a fashion diet. I finally have a minute to catch up on this most amazing, whirlwind trip to Vegas a week and a half after my return back to D-town. And I am seriously on a fashion diet. Everything I can read, see, find, look for and notice in fashion - I am on it.

I've said before that I have trouble relaxing. I have spent so much time focused and stressed out that I actually don't know how to fully enjoy myself. I feel guilty if I relax because that means something isn't getting done that I need to do. But I'm starting to change that. And Vegas was a great start. And it was helped along by my meals.

Morning one began super crazy early at the Wynn with ENK. We were staying at the timewarp of the 90's, the Luxor. Do not stay there. It was a joke of a hotel. I needed a passport just to get to the elevator that only stopped on your floor every now and then. The room was bare essentials with plug-in ethernet. PS - computers built in this decade don't have ethernet slots anymore. No internet. No cell reception. Joke.

So we trekked over first thing AM to have breakfast at the Wynn. It is the best breakfast I've ever had. Peaceful, quiet, luxurious, full of fashioned elite. The coffee was great, the chaise lounge with puffy pillows definitely helped the relax factor. And PS - the best chicken apple sausage I've ever had. Total luxury. And the beginning of my fashion diet. Tunics and easy style. Resort wear at its finest. Metallic flats. It was Tory Burch heaven.

We left ENK for Magic and, let me tell you, a different vibe. Project and Magic were young and funky. LA vs the NYC of the other end of the strip. Skinny, skin tight jeans, leggings, tons and tons of denim, sky high wedges or super strappy flats. Men with skinny rolled jeans. Layers upon layers, totally updated 80s with scarves, fedoras, jewelry. Everything layered.

We were only there for 2 nights so night two we went for a nicer dinner. We ended up at Paris (after 6 restaurants were either booked solid or had a 2-hour wait) at about 9pm at Mon Ami Gabi. We had breakfast here back in October and I loved it. I love it even more now. Yummy champagne, amazing pinot noir, hangar steak with a bernaise sauce, window view overlooking the Bellagio fountain. If we weren't both about to fall over from exhaustion, it would have been so romantic.

Overall it was nice to get away for a minute, but even better to be inspired again. I know that I'm in the right industry and doing the right thing for my life. We met new vendors, opened new accounts, found what's different and new. I bought feather earrings, brought back bracelets from LA for the girls and the store, funky wallets - it was Christmas!

After all the urban finds, goodies, appointments, fun and amazement I was exhausted. I think I might finally be coming back to life again. And can't wait for the next one...

Straight from the Source

As I mentioned, I went to Vegas market. Seriously so fantastically amazeballs. I can't wait to go back already. But I wanted to share my new fashion wisdom. Below are the upcoming Spring 2011 men's fashion trends from each show via WWD:


Project:
Skinny jeans remained the key fit in denim, with variations on the style plentiful, such as looser fits toward the top, tapering to a skinny fit on the lower leg. Colored khakis and twill bottoms were abundant, as were nylon outerwear, deconstructed blazers and activewear influences.

PGA:
Technical fabrics still dominate, but fashion has found its way into the golf market. From argyle sweaters and bouncy skirts to polo shirts that change color in the heat, the industry has embraced innovation for spring.

Magic:
Military influences appeared on outerwear and cargo shorts, and plaid wovens remained a key item in many collections. Nondenim bottoms like khaki and corduroy added newness to denim lines and brands played with details on polo shirts, a staple of spring lines. Fedora hats were attention-grabbers for buyers seeking novelty.

ENK:
Darker, cleaner denim in slim and straight fits was the key direction at Paige Premium Denim, as it was at many jeans brands. “We’re moving away from destruction and have things with soft hands and stretch,” said Jonathan Geller, men’s sales director at PPD and stepson of company founder Paige Adams-Geller. “We also lowered our entry price point to $170, down from $186. Department stores are asking for lower prices to move merchandise.”

MRKT:
Woven shirts with contrasting patterns, hybrid coats, deconstructed sport coats and colorful outerwear were among the top-selling items. Although suits were available, most vendors focused on dress-down casualwear.

CAPSULE:
Swimwear was a key category, with brands such as Onia and Orlebar Brown offering modern, sophisticated takes on trunks and volleys in subdued solids. For the fashion-forward Capsule crowd, bold colors and prints were available at labels like Monitaly, where paisley shorts and blazers hung next to ikat-print shirts, as well as Riviera Club, which showcased a Baja-inspired collection perfect for après-surf — such as serape hooded pullovers and double-layer gauze shirts.

POOL:
Graphic T-shirts continue to dominate, but some of the labels made the move into woven shirts, jumping on the plaid and chambray bandwagon.

Magic Morning

I'm sitting at the store, cleaned and merchandised, on this quiet Wednesday morning. The door is propped open with a cool drizzle falling outside. I couldn't be happier right now. This constant oppressive heat has become depressing. I can't open the blinds in the bedroom (for months now) because just the intensity of the sun made the heat too much for the A/C to keep up with. It was a wonderful site to see the Walgreens parking lot this morning. Ha!

I lay in bed this morning, reading my most fabulous study Bible, listening to the drizzle outside the window. It was exactly what I needed to begin a long day the right way. Now the playlist is pumping the best of my favorites and for now, the air is nice enough to enjoy - rain and all.

He said, she said

How do you stop arguing when you're both predisposed to do so? How do you remove the hurt or stifle the sudden urge to defend yourself? And how do you know you should keep trying? These are just thoughts. Of course, our thoughts always come from our daily influence, so I suppose they're fairly important thoughts based on my current influences.

I just want to make sure it's possible to live together, work together, see each other all the time and still figure out how to appreciate each, separate one from the other and love being together. And stop arguing.

Lucky One

I crawled out of the shower this morning to the smell of coffee brewing and walked to the kitchen to see dinner already in the crockpot. I will admit that I do not always feel this way nor appreciate things, but I do have an incredibly amazing partner and I am a very lucky girl.

Let me tell you about this dinner. It's Scotty's Mom's recipe of crockpot roast w/ a jar of pepporcinis - juice and all. Throw in some cracked pepper and leave it all day. I am drooling already. Cannot wait!

This crampy girl needs some sleep and a day off. I haven't had a day off in over a week and won't for over a week. Now I need to drag my sore self around the store and get my re-merch on. Love this store!

Fashion & Food

My entire life has existed around fashion and food lately. It's like the most perfect two things ever. Maybe that's why I finally feel relaxed in life. (Or it could be my new girl I hired majored in psychology and is slowly unwinding my issues).

Tonight - a menu of pesto chicken on the grill and then baked with mozzarella cheese with a side of spinach and pine nut spaghetti made from skinny spaghetti , spinach, garlic, pine nuts and a sauce of chicken stock, corn starch and parmesan cheese. I made it up! I'm so excited. And last nights dinner was phenomenal. It's an Italian chicken and pasta a made a while back and it still was the best thing ever the second time around.

I also spent this last week in Vegas at market and abso-freaking-lutely loved it. It was like I was fashion starved and now I'm filled. More later. And then a fashion show/happy hour. I bought a new Kate style clutch, but for like $30. I mean, life is fantasticness in a bottle of wine.

I hadn't written in a while and have a tendency to be a bit dark, twisty and slightly moody so I thought a happy update was overdue.

Off to finish dinner, finish my bottle of Ruffino, snuggle with my honey and enjoy the foosball on the telly.

Cheers!

Calm, quiet start

I'm not superstitious, but I will say that every Friday the 13th things go wrong. It just so happens that way every time, but I'm not a freaky friday sort of believer. Swear. I think that this year, Thursday was my Fri the 13th. And since it was just yesterday, perhaps I'll have a great day today. After yesterday, I deserve it. Ugh...yesterday.

I'm sitting in bed with coffee and morning TV, cutting coupons and about to place a super important phone call regarding paychecks. Boo turned my alarm off and went into work for me and even told me not to rush! Ugh, amazing man. He takes care of me better than I could ask.

OK - phone call ready. Today is NOT going to be my traditional Fri the 13th. It's not. But just in case, that's why I haven't gotten out of bed yet.

Open letter to the lady with the dog

Seriously, lady? Seriously. I realize I walked away from my car for 8 minutes with the dog inside. And I was nearly in tears upon return. My poor dog, my sweet Misty, when it's triple digits outside. It was inhumane! Did I really need those lemons for dinner? Well, yes, but not at the risk of my dog. Which is why I parked in the shade and rushed through the store, using self checkout and literally running back to the car. 8 minutes.

You, however, are an idiot. A prize idiot. Your beautiful labrador sat panting in your backseat when I arrived and parked, dripped from its sweet tongue hanging out its mouth when I returned. And the next 15 minutes I sat and watched it slowly sink into the seat, panting and sweating. All the while you slowly strolled your busted ass around the store, picking up jars of pickles and aerosol hairspray - no regard for the animal you supposedly love in your backseat nearing heatstroke.

I'm not sure if you came out on your own or because the sweet cart boys were afraid I wasn't bluffing with 9-1-1 typed into my phone and paged you. I guess the picture I took of your license plate, next to the nice rusty dent in your fender, proved I wasn't kidding around.

It was nice of you to let me know that your dog is always hot and that's why it was panting. FYI - it's illegal to leave your animal unattended in the Texas summer heat for as long as you did. I'm glad I was there to inform you. Thanks for thanking me for watching your dog. Next time I'll hopefully move faster, dial the number and get your dog away from you.

Menu

I'm rocking out an eclectic, yet successful menu for myself this evening. The remainder of last night's champagne, accompanied with a steamed artichoke with dipping sauce, spicy tuna brown rice sushi and a caprese salad.

Super duper yumminess.

Positive Energy

A friend recently posted on her new fashion blog about how lucky she was. To quote:



It was just one of those days when you wake up happy. Not just content, cheerful, or pleasant but truly H.A.P.P.Y. I’ve been in LA for 2 months working on my Hosting career. I’ve been away from my “life” working hard, submitting myself, hustling, researching, meetings, headshots, auditions, traveling, editing, emailing, phone calls, making videos, follow-ups and more. But today was a GREAT DAY... It was a day when you get to lean back and say “ahhhhhhhhhhh” with a huge sigh. There is something so satisfying to see your hard work pay off. I know I’ll have tons more things to do tomorrow, the weekend, next wk, next month. But TODAY I will bask in my work being done.



So often I forget to be grateful, forget to be excited. I allow myself to focus on the next step and forget to celebrate the little things. And friends, it's all about the little things. I am an incredibly lucky, blessed, fortunate girl and there is no reason for me to not have a smile on my face each and every day.

This has been the hardest year of my life, preceded by the second hardest year of my life. I am tired of fighting and it is about damn time to start enjoying. So here's to a happy day of truly appreciating the moments.

I am excited to watch a fav show on the telly this evening: Bananas! I am excited that we are already past goal today in the store, that a friend happened by and loved the place, that I'm going to Vegas next week, that I'm styling a fashion show next week, that Misty spends every day at work with me, that I have an artichoke waiting in the fridge for dinner tonight, that I have a bottle of bubbly with my name on it next to the artichoke, and of course that I have a fabulous family and amazing boyfriend and my own business! Today is a day to celebrate!

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. - Zig Ziglar

El Doctor

Good news from the doc. No new cell growth, but the presence of disease - yes. She says it's totally normal. So I'm not in trouble. Back in January to re-check!

Two points

My feet hurt like I'm poor in NYC and hiking around like a tourist in heels. Every day. Serious pain.

And two, I am making myself super happy this evening with a bottle of champagne and a caprese salad with Sex and the City.

One, two, three, four

Budgeting is a beast. I have been counting pennies and writing things out, paying off bills and avoiding shopping for months now. For someone in fashion that loves style as much as I do, this is a very hard thing to do. But when you have no funds, you have no funds. No way to spend it. It's KILLING me. My solace has been the store. At the very least I can grab a cute top or dress here or there, albeit college or sports related. But it works. And if I really scrimp and scrap, I've gotten one something for under $40 every other month.

However, I have been doing some shopping lately. It started with shoes. I was wearing my 5" Cynthia Vincent wedges which require a change of shoes in retail, but forgot a change of shoes. So I popped into Nine West where clearance was an extra 20% off. I walked out with a tan strappy pair of suede flats perfect to go into the fall and a hot pink leather flip flop, total under $50. Then came the nail polish. The new color for the season is grey and a store in NYC makes the perfect shade. So I bought two colors and shipped them. And then came the extra 20% off VS end of season, so I bought a suit. Holy crap! I'm at $100!!! I do not have $100. But at least my nails and feet will be cute. And next season, my swim suit is fabulous and unworn. (neon yellow bottom and striped top, both of which perfectly match all 3 of my turq, pink and black swim suits).

OK, I'm cut off!

What to do, what to do

I don't remember the last time I was home alone. Normally when Scott travels I make plans; however, tonight those were canceled. I admit I'd prefer to be out doing something. It's actually kind of hard to make plans when you know someone else is just sitting at home. I suppose I need to get over that and just do what I want.

But tonight, I'm sitting on the couch in a quiet (clean) apt. It is very nice to have space to myself. A boy just takes up so much space. But this place seems downright huge right now. I'm loving it!

So I think I may make some caprese salad and pop some champagne. Have a real night! However, I could also just go to bed early and get to the gym early. But I believe I'm going for salad and champagne.

Have a great night, y'all!

Back to Life

I have been racing at 100 mph for months now. I could not be happier to slow down for a night. It's Saturday night, the laundry is going, dishwasher full, boy sleeping on the couch next to me and of course...candle lit and glass of wine. Cupcake. Yum.

My first PT girl started tonight and I seriously love her. She's so eager to learn and just wants to make sure she does everything right. She honestly asked me if there was a time I wanted her to leave the store at night, in case she felt like more customers might come if she stayed past close. Seriously? Forget children. I'm adopting her. Done. And my next one starts Tuesday morning! I must say, life is working out. It's damn hard work and I'm freaking tired and have no life, but yet, very happy and content.

Brace yourself, here it comes...Yiiiippppeeee!!!! (and I don't do that often). I mean, my nails are watermelon! Enough said.

My little secret

I have a vice from my past that is resurfacing as of late. It's not something everyone approves of, nor has even...we'll say enjoyed. I've had friends unhappy with my choice and definitely attempt to persuade me in a different direction. It might not be something I run around and proclaim, but I enjoy it.

And seriously, until you've been exhausted on a Saturday night and need something to pep you up, don't judge me. It's been very good to me in the past. I've been known to dance around the living room on a couch, stay up all night having chats with friends, even dance literally all night, possibly on top of the bar. This, my friends, is nothing but a happy, peppy vice. All nay-sayers can just shut it.

I actually may promote my vice to the world. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Shut your trap until you've taken part yourself. That's right. I dare you.

Next time you're sitting alone and your friends are all out waiting on you, but you have less than zero energy to get there, I will share my fairly non-addicting habit with you. Crank up some techno and, viola. There you have it - techno. Nothing will get you moving and shaking, pep you up for the night and keep you going until dawn like techno.

You know you love it and totally jam out in the car when no one else is around.

It doesn't get any cuter

Misty-Miss has had a couple days off work and recovered. Now she's ready to get there and greet some customers! After 3 straight long days, she was too exhausted to move on Sunday (as was I). So I let her work at home with Daddy for a bit. But now she anxious and back in the game.

Put me in coach!

I like this better over there...

My creative side is waking up this week. I've received some new shipments, requiring a little product shuffle and desired a new display and window. I forgot how much I love merchandising! It's been a couple years since I've been creative at work. (with the exception of all of my brilliant ideas...)

I merchandised the trendy 2,000 sq ft space I managed a while back - windows, floor sets and all. And my NYC job was fairly creative. And when my dragon boss wasn't sucking the fun out of the room with her fire breathing, it was fun! I played with fabrics and created design boards (which was initially fun, but the critiques with said dragon boss were HELL!), clipped trends and oversaw production and sales of accessories. Seriously, does it get any better for a job description? Once my company is super huge and handling licensing, I'll make sure I maintain that position within the biz.

But I am seriously enjoying flexing my brain a bit and feeling the ownership of the store. That and interviewing 20-somethings all week who look at you like an accomplished store owner. Man, my self esteem is on the rise!

*gleam*

My head has spent a lot of time in my past lately, both awake and asleep. I honestly couldn't be happier. I have managed to open my own boutique and I'm going to have some press coming out soon. And it's sports! I mean, 30 is my year.

But my head....maybe because life has gotten easier. Maybe because things aren't as intense as they've been this past year. Maybe because I have one dream realized that I wonder about the other things & people I've let go along the way.

I would like to say hello, sit down and have a drink and catch up with a few people. Then again, that's what I keep doing in my head. So maybe I just want to show them all that I've got it all now that, well, I do.

Bananas!

Cool baubles

Last week I spent 72 hours of my life at work. This week, I'll leave the store today at 61 with a partial day to work tomorrow. I'm whittling my time down. I am most definitely tired, but happy. So, so, so very happy.

Last night was a great event, well the event was a total bomb when it comes to attendance, but we still made sales and I scored a fantastic pair of new earrings. And made a new connection for unique stuff in the store. AND scored a reason to send a press release, which I did. So hopefully someone will start paying attention to us up here and giving me some coverage...

For your pleasure - pics from last night:

We Have Liftoff

Holy Geez. I am sitting in my store. My store. MY store. My STORE! I have dreamed of this forever. It's changed in concept over time, but one thing is constant - it's my store!! I did manage to find 72 hours worth of work last week, which has left me beyond exhausted. But in a really just tired, yet peaceful sort of way.

If something could go wrong it did. I know that's Murphy's Law or something. And that something will inevitably always go wrong. But no, this was ran over a small child in a past life karmic stuff. Every-single-thing went wrong in getting this place open. But as they say, bad dress rehearsal great performance. So off we go. Curtain's up. So far so good. We've only been open 2 days and already had pretty good sales! That's just nuts!!

If you know me, you're reading this and live near me, you should be here. No excuses. Just be here. Friend, enemy and frenemy alike, this is so cool I don't even care who you are, just that you are. However, be sure and bring your wallet. I mean, I am running a business here...

Days Gone By

I was engaged three years ago today. Or tonight. In Paris. I wouldn't have even made the connection if a friend wasn't living in Paris for a year and posted that it was Bastille Day.

The Eiffel Tower was beautiful. It was seriously breath-taking. Minus the arguing and bleeding feet from hiking miles in heels in extreme, humid heat, it was a really special moment. I can't take away from what it felt like to look at someone & feel that security of forever. I will say that going through it and feeling all of those emotions and having it fall apart makes it difficult to want to do it again.

I actually desire to be engaged. I'm not sure about married...yet. But I do want to be engaged. I hope it can still be a truly special moment that stands on its own and isn't reminiscent of days past...

Random Dreams Part Deux

Dave Matthews wanted to date me and then tried to kill me. I was trapped in a falling elevator. I was living in a hotel; however, a hotel that has made multiple appearances in dreams over the years.

Kitchen-focused

This post is all about the food, but there's been some good stuff coming out of my kitchen. I had to share.

Tonight's menu:

Chicken marinated in olive oil, lemon juice, oregano and cinnamon 24 hours. Perfect flavor.

On the side - sweet potato fries tossed in olive oil, salt and paprika cooked and flipped at 400 for 30 minutes. And fresh green beans in toasted garlic, chicken stock and tons of Allspice, boiling and simmering for 30 minutes.

I already shared all of my menu from the 4th. I must say that the tomato salad is a new favorite heading into rotation.

Tomorrow is girls night out at Lumi, but Thursday is Boo's family recipe of pot roast in the slow cooker all day with an entire jar of pepperocini's, juice and all. I'm adding chopped carrots and onions to the mix for a side. Fresh wheat bread from the store, toasted at 350 for 10 minutes and served with butter. Perfection!

Fantastic Relaxation

This was a great weekend. Three days of 4th festivities with friends, all feeling a bit on the grown-up side. I sincerely loved it. And I even found myself able to relax enough by Monday evening to look around and take a deep breathe, appreciative of the evening. For the most part, I spend events either running around taking care of things or feeling on the outside. Since reading my highly mentioned book, I'm doing better about both.

My self esteem isn't based on others perceptions of me.

Saturday Boo's parents came in to toast the new store and check out what we're up to. After a long day with them we headed to Addison for our recently married friends. It was a casual get-together with burgers, beer, fun times and then fireworks. We hiked to a nearby bridge to watch the local shenanigans.

Sunday we hosted the pool portion of the weekend, but it was really so calm and quiet. The ladies lounged in the sun and the guys sat around the food. You know you've reached adulthood when there's more food (and gourmet food) than beer at your parties. I made a tomato, basil, bell pepper salad tossed in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon zest, salt and pepper. And a low fat ricotta processed with lemon juice, Splenda and vanilla extract, topped with fresh berries in lemon juice and Splenda. And firecracker burgers made with cayenne, spicy mustard and red onions. The other ladies contributed slow roasted pulled pork, "potato" salad made with cauliflower and taboulleh. So exciting!

We finished off the weekend with a couples viewing of the Bachelorette and a rooftop hotdog cookout. It sincerely couldn't have been a better weekend leading up to a crazy week of store-ness.

Angry Email

I am beyond frustrated with my contractor. I send him emails, leave him voicemails and even have resorted to text messages. All ignored. I don't know if it's because I'm a female, I'm a smaller project or he just plain finds me annoying, but I do not care. The man is making money off of my store and he didn't need to take the job if he didn't want it. So here is my recent email. We can title it: Vented frustration after fireworks and 1/2 a bottle of Chardonnay:

Hi XXX,

I will begin by being upfront and telling you that I am incredibly frustrated. I realize that I am not a big job for you nor making you a lot of money; however, I am still trying to open a business and feel I deserve a little more respect.

I have yet to receive confirmation on any of my questions regarding timing for lighting installation, wiring, flooring, etc. The dressing rooms were initially done incorrectly. They are now perfect and look great, though. I have never seen a blueprint for the space, even though I told you that I am contractually obligated to produce them for [the landlord] in 3 copies. I am trying to make appointments for installations and deliveries based on work being finished and I have no answers on timing.

The original quotes for a double-sided sign was $3157. Now it's higher, even though the sign is now only one-sided. And again, [the landlord] has yet to approve because we need more information. How is it that it increased in cost? What else is going to increase on the quote? I need to sign off on any increases as they occur.

Additionally, for the existing speaker holes, since I have been unable to get any feedback on something economical, do you have an industrial ladder I can use and I will have laminate cut at Home Depot and use a cordless drill to fill them myself?

I truly appreciate the work that has been done and that you are working with me when I hear back from you. I know you are busy with larger projects; however, I am required to work with you under my lease with Shops at Legacy and would appreciate more communication when it comes to the opening of my store.

Please let me know about timing and why a 1-sided sign is more expensive than the 2-sided.

Again, thank you for what you have done for us so far and the work yet to be done. I genuinely love the space, the work and look forward to the finished product.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

UPDATE:

We had a phone chat at 8am this morning and all is well and good in store land. Opening the doors Tuesday next week (pending any more setbacks)...

Book Corner

I just finished reading Robert McGee's "The Search for Significance" and I do not have enough good things to say about it. I've struggled with self esteem my whole life, leading to depression and emotional roller coasters. All of that leads to isolation, sarcasm, bitterness, etc.

Am I cured? Not yet. Do I have a better understanding as to why I feel the way I do and how to move forward? Yes.

And now I can finish "The End of Fashion." Also fascinating, but because it analyzes the end of couture and the creation of consumer-centric fashion. The science of fashion - I love it.

Just a thought

I can't wait to move my office and all of this product out of the apartment. I can't wait to go to work away from the apartment every day. I can't wait to have my own place to go, my own things to do. I can't wait to have my boyfriend back instead of a business partner. I can't wait. But then again, it's just a thought.

Ran-dom Dreams

I had the oddest dream last night. However, I am thankful for a good enough sleep that I slumbered far enough into dream land that I remembered it. But it was odd.

It was Boo and two exes - the most recent jerk and the actor from LA. The actor made an appearance - nice enough of him - but was mainly a no-show. Per usual. And even Boo was short-lived. The main theme was the recent-ish ex. He was in the hospital with a broken ankle/foot/toe something. But the whole family was there. We were definitely over, but trying to figure out why. His sweet youngest sister and I hung out and his Mom and I chatted. Because I must drop acid in my water before I sleep, before the dream was over he became a dog, Lassie style, alas with a busted foot. And as he approached me I knew it was him, even though as a Lassie dog and we continued communicating.

I woke up and was in a dream haze of good times with the ex. But then I shook my head and remembered that whole cheater, yelling, meanie thing and went back to life.

Ran-dom.

Mamaw & Papaw

Words for my Mamaw

I grew up spending vacations, holidays and 3-day weekends with Mamaw & Papaw. I remember sun tea brewing by the pool and getting lunch on plastic plates under the umbrella table. Mamaw & Papaw’s house meant riding the train, going to the zoo and riding the skytram, playing in the pool and food. There were always meals. We ate at every table in the house and every meal was an occasion.

Now that we’re older, when Mamaw got sick, I was hesitant to hang out with her for hours each week. I didn’t know what I was going to do with my grandmother the whole time.

I was actually really shocked to find out what a smart-alec she was. She was hilarious. She had this dry wit and would come out of nowhere with these comments. I remember in the ER over Christmas the nurse taking forever to do something and she sat there and rolled her eyes behind the nurses back and we held back our snickers. Mom said the second the tube came out the first time she was intubated she could barely speak, but she made sure Mom heard her and said, “Don’t do that again.” It was kind of shocking to see that side of Mamaw.

I think Mamaw spent most of her life being proper. But towards the end, when she’d lost all of her pride, I saw her as this real person. She was funny and she had a sharp wit. She loved having afternoon tea, her favorite was green tea. She loved Atkins chocolate coconut bars and Pirates Booty. She liked to watch Golden Girls. She loved spending time with her family. Her face would literally light up every week when I came to see her. We would sit for hours and talk. We chatted about runway shows and how many women did Tiger Woods really cheat with. I wasn’t her nurse and I didn’t help her with anything medical, but we became friends.

I held her hand when she was sad over Nellie and I hugged her when she missed Papaw. I covered her walls with pictures of her family and made sure she told every nurse that came by about each person on the wall. We bonded over diabetic snacks. She shared stories about her life before Papaw I’d never heard before. I miss her.

Last Saturday I celebrated my 30th birthday at home. I was able to see her calm and peaceful - completely happy and content. She talked about the birds feeding schedules outside her window and how great the food was at her new digs. She bowed her head to pray with us and sat calmly across the hall while we ate dinner. And every time we’d look over at her she’d give us a thumbs up and occasionally yell over that she couldn’t hear a thing we were saying. I sat down and played piano for her for an hour. And we just talked. She looked at me and said, “I know I don’t have much longer, but I’m so grateful for being home.” She was happy. She knew. And she was ready.

I will forever cherish the fact that I was able to see her as more than the Mamaw that put salt on her watermelon and was back in the kitchen fixing the next meal the very second we finished the first.

I have two favorite verses: 1 Cor 13:13 and Phil 1:3. Chapter 13 of Corinthians is known as the Love chapter. I have never seen two people that better exemplify love than Mamaw & Papaw. I hope that one day I can set that example for the generations beyond me. It isn’t a coincidence that she joined Papaw in time for their 63rd wedding anniversary. She wanted to be with him again. And perhaps my all-time favorite is Phil 1:3. I thank My God every time I remember you. And I do.