It has all come to a close. And for as amazing, fantastic and downright ridiculous my birthday was, it has ended on an unfortunate note. My silly procedure left me using "diapers" (pads) when needed until all healed, which just takes time. And today I woke up to Aunt Flo and now instead of laying by the pool or walking on the trail, I'm lying in bed in a "diaper!" I'll do it for the healing. The last thing I need is complications in childbirth - if life so deems I need a rugrat of my own - we'll see.
But the grand weekend was great. I had lots of fun, got to see friends, drink, laugh, drink, dance and drink. Forsaking details, it was the craziness of 1/2 a decade ago. It's apparently a great way to ring in a new year on a landmark birthday, but I'm ready to go back to normal.
Is it terrible to say, or perhaps a result of PMS, that I had more fun with 3-4 girls watching a movie than I did with 25 friends raging at the pool all day. I suffer from expectations, where I expected a fun day at the pool of music, laying out, sun and friends. Instead I ran around cleaning, taking care of everyone, sitting in the shade with my parents and not talking to any of my friends. I never got in the water. I didn't get any sun. I was the only sober person and I found myself losing half my time stuck in conversations with the friends of friends that showed up instead of people I wanted. I definitely made up for it and had a great birthday night hitting up my first Dallas Club, the usual bar across the street and drank and drank and drank and drank. The next day was tough, but I survived in bed with 5 hours of Housewives of NYC.
Last night a handful of friends went to watch the truly stylish and fabulous lives of those in SATC2. Loved it! It's a perfect movie of escapism. That's the point of the show. A life to aspire to, yet relate. Relatable story lines within their individual lives even though the events surrounding are surreal and over the top.
I think next year, hoping there might be a house involved, there can be a quiet romantic dinner at home and a house party with cake and friends and board games. Yup, that's what I want.
So today - in the "diaper" - I'm changing the sheets, doing the laundry, cleaning the apt and working. Tonight I'll make dinner and have an overall relaxing and normal day.
Cheers!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Fantastic Night In
Last week I had a great night with my best girl and my new boyfriend. She perfectly captured the night so I have to share her pictures.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Party in the A-P-T
My Ipod graced me on shuffle with a little Smiley for my breakfast. I did find myself dancing a little groove while I flipped my egg and poured my Joe.
The boy has been out of town for just over 24 hours and is it OK to say that I am totally happy with him gone for a bit? I actually slept in until 9 two days in a row and am almost caught up on my brainless reality shows. And if I may wax on for just a moment.....Speidi is on drugs....and nucking futs. And I wish I was Whitney. Ugh, total package dream life.
I miss the city! Off to work so I can afford to get there.
The boy has been out of town for just over 24 hours and is it OK to say that I am totally happy with him gone for a bit? I actually slept in until 9 two days in a row and am almost caught up on my brainless reality shows. And if I may wax on for just a moment.....Speidi is on drugs....and nucking futs. And I wish I was Whitney. Ugh, total package dream life.
I miss the city! Off to work so I can afford to get there.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
The Company is Coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two hundred-dollar orders this week. Four new companies added to the mix. We're growing! And I couldn't be more excited.
There's even a backup plan while waiting on the final lease negotiations.
Opening currently planned for July. Details to come...
There's even a backup plan while waiting on the final lease negotiations.
Opening currently planned for July. Details to come...
Apt Feng Shui
I was recently inspired by a sorority sisters home featured in D Homes. She had a mainly white living room, very Pottery Barn, not my style at all. However, her shelves were loaded with pictures, books and media - all color coordinated. The color wheel! I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. So last weekend, when I wasn't able to do much physically, I redid the shelves. Shelves can make a room look so messy. This may be the answer.
This weekend I already fluffed the comforter, changed the sheets, am drying the duvet, made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen. I have the rest of the apt to clean, a mini walking workout to do and a friend's Master's graduation/house warming party tonight. The feng shui seems to be doing its job.
This weekend I already fluffed the comforter, changed the sheets, am drying the duvet, made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen. I have the rest of the apt to clean, a mini walking workout to do and a friend's Master's graduation/house warming party tonight. The feng shui seems to be doing its job.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Great Tunes
This post needs no intro. Just titles and artists.
Ray LaMontagne - Within You
Snow Patrol - Somewhere a Clock is Ticking
Iron & Wine - Boy With a Coin
Rufus Wainwright - Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk
Regina Spektor - Lady
Sia - Numb
This playlist is good for a quiet night with the girls, a bottle of wine and great conversation; a romantic dinner for two needing a soundtrack; a good book in bed; blogging on a rainy day; or one of those nights you already know you want to cry and feel bad about life and just need a little nudge.
It makes me want to sit on the couch, drink wine, paint my nails black and call all my best girl friends to feel warm and fuzzy. But there's a boy inhabiting my couch having a relationship with the History Channel. I'm in the kitchen with my wine and my playlist.
Sia - Breathe Me
Jem - Flying High
Frou Frou - Breathe In
Brandi Carlisle - What Can I Say
Rachael Yamagata - Reason Why
Regina Spektor - Summer in the City
Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
Ingrid Michaelson - Keep Breathing
Gomez - How We Operate
Jem - Just a Ride
Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful (I Put a Spell On You)
Jose Gonazalez - Crosses
Sia - Rewrite
Azure Ray - Sleep
The Weepies - World Spins Madly On
Rachael Yamagata - Worn Me Down
Fiona Apple - I Know
Priscilla Ahn - DreamRay LaMontagne - Within You
Snow Patrol - Somewhere a Clock is Ticking
Iron & Wine - Boy With a Coin
Rufus Wainwright - Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk
Regina Spektor - Lady
Sia - Numb
This playlist is good for a quiet night with the girls, a bottle of wine and great conversation; a romantic dinner for two needing a soundtrack; a good book in bed; blogging on a rainy day; or one of those nights you already know you want to cry and feel bad about life and just need a little nudge.
It makes me want to sit on the couch, drink wine, paint my nails black and call all my best girl friends to feel warm and fuzzy. But there's a boy inhabiting my couch having a relationship with the History Channel. I'm in the kitchen with my wine and my playlist.
Kitchen Posts
LISTENING TO: PRISCILLA AHN "DREAM"
& RAY LAMONTAGNE "WITHIN YOU"
Oven heating. Whole wheat rolls sitting on the cookie sheet next to me. Peppercorn porkloin resting in a shallow baking pan. Spinach waiting in its steaming bag. Dinner is almost served, I suppose.
I'm standing in the kitchen listening to quiet music attempting alone time. That's quite a difficult feat when living 24/7 with a boyfriend who works from home, office only steps from your own home desk. Dinner will cook 30 minutes. I may still be standing here. My eye keeps resting on an unopened bottle of Sangiovese. Does red go with porkloin? I think any wine goes with anything on a stressful day. To that end, any wine will work today.
Misty and I began the morning, pre shower, at the vet. I had to drop her off to be worked in. She started crying for attention 24 hours ago - turns out it was a doggy UTI. The cost of a set of 2 tires (which I needed) and three trips down the way in a monsoon of coldfront rain and we're all nestled back at home for the evening.
That wine is looking mighty fine.
I have now opened it. It's breathing next to me in my beautiful stemless glass. Ah, sweet flavor.
& RAY LAMONTAGNE "WITHIN YOU"
Oven heating. Whole wheat rolls sitting on the cookie sheet next to me. Peppercorn porkloin resting in a shallow baking pan. Spinach waiting in its steaming bag. Dinner is almost served, I suppose.
I'm standing in the kitchen listening to quiet music attempting alone time. That's quite a difficult feat when living 24/7 with a boyfriend who works from home, office only steps from your own home desk. Dinner will cook 30 minutes. I may still be standing here. My eye keeps resting on an unopened bottle of Sangiovese. Does red go with porkloin? I think any wine goes with anything on a stressful day. To that end, any wine will work today.
Misty and I began the morning, pre shower, at the vet. I had to drop her off to be worked in. She started crying for attention 24 hours ago - turns out it was a doggy UTI. The cost of a set of 2 tires (which I needed) and three trips down the way in a monsoon of coldfront rain and we're all nestled back at home for the evening.
That wine is looking mighty fine.
I have now opened it. It's breathing next to me in my beautiful stemless glass. Ah, sweet flavor.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Yummy
I just made the best dinner possibly ever - at least in my history of cooking. I was sweating head to toe by the time I was done, the cast iron grill going on both broilers and four pots and skillets rotating around the other two broilers. My unopened bottle of wine waiting until I finished because I was throwing spices and knocking over seasonings in the pantry, frantically changing wooden spoons for different sauces and turning the chicken so it didn't burn.
It tasted awesome.
Italian-seasoned chicken, tossed in whole wheat flour, parmesan cheese, olive oil, oregano, garlic salt and paprika, grilled on the cast iron. Topped with a sauce of onion, tomato paste, paprika, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper and chicken broth. On the side, fresh green beans, snapped, boiled and tossed with butter, lemon juice and parsley. And whole wheat penne pasta with a butter, garlic salt, pepper, Creole seasoning, cream cheese, sour cream, milk and garlic sauce.
Cupcake Sauvignon Blanc on the side. Strawberries and Splenda for dessert.
YUM!
It tasted awesome.
Italian-seasoned chicken, tossed in whole wheat flour, parmesan cheese, olive oil, oregano, garlic salt and paprika, grilled on the cast iron. Topped with a sauce of onion, tomato paste, paprika, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper and chicken broth. On the side, fresh green beans, snapped, boiled and tossed with butter, lemon juice and parsley. And whole wheat penne pasta with a butter, garlic salt, pepper, Creole seasoning, cream cheese, sour cream, milk and garlic sauce.
Cupcake Sauvignon Blanc on the side. Strawberries and Splenda for dessert.
YUM!
If You Have to Cry, Go Outside
The author of this quote is one of my heroes. If you watch my brainless reality shows then you know who she is. I recently read an interview in Elle with her and had to share. She is too fantastic:
ON THE FUTURE:
I was a tarot card reader in Venice Beach, and I was so good at it that I ended up having a private practice in L.A. One of my old clients actually called me up and was like, "I know you're really famous and on TC or whatever, but can you please give me a reading?"
ON THE WORD BITCH:
I take my daughter trick-or-treating in Salem, Massachusetts, every year and there are signs all over that say, 'Witch: Woman in Total Control of Herself,' so now we think that 'B' means 'babe' and 'bitch' is 'Babe in Total Control of Herself.'
ON WITCHCRAFT:
A lot of people think I'm a Wiccan. I'm not; it takes too long. I'd rather take something and make it happen than get 75 herbs and stir them in a pot by the full moon.
BELIEF IN FASHION:
I work in fashion because the world is such a heavy place that I need to be in this industry that fights for five hours to get a dress.
ON THE FUTURE:
I was a tarot card reader in Venice Beach, and I was so good at it that I ended up having a private practice in L.A. One of my old clients actually called me up and was like, "I know you're really famous and on TC or whatever, but can you please give me a reading?"
ON THE WORD BITCH:
I take my daughter trick-or-treating in Salem, Massachusetts, every year and there are signs all over that say, 'Witch: Woman in Total Control of Herself,' so now we think that 'B' means 'babe' and 'bitch' is 'Babe in Total Control of Herself.'
ON WITCHCRAFT:
A lot of people think I'm a Wiccan. I'm not; it takes too long. I'd rather take something and make it happen than get 75 herbs and stir them in a pot by the full moon.
BELIEF IN FASHION:
I work in fashion because the world is such a heavy place that I need to be in this industry that fights for five hours to get a dress.
"To attempt to find completeness through any other source, including success, the approval of others, prestige or appearance, is to be taken captive through philosophy and empty deception," The Search for Significance.
My sister gave me a great study I've been reading. My whole life I've struggled with self esteem and faux esteem. You feel terrible about yourself, not believing in anything, down and depressed. And then you receive praise or approval and you feel great and truly believe in yourself again, until criticized and then you're down again. This is a truly unhealthy form of codependency.
This was my childhood and I've been doing everything I can to move on from it. I had terrible self esteem and would do something worthy of praise and would be on cloud 9, overly excited and feel truly happy. Until I did something wrong and was told how terrible I was in one way or another and I would retreat. I was trained that my behavior should be what others want it to be. It's been very hard for me to learn to make my own decisions and stick to them no matter if someone else disagreed.
I have struggled with self esteem, self worth and therefore relationships both friend and romantic, my whole life. My sister, studying counseling, recently gave me an amazing study called The Search for Significance. It's my game changer.
At one point I did feel like I had it all together and figured out. I was truly happy and confident and living my own life. I had moved to NYC and started out, no one knowing me, giving me an actual opportunity to figure out who I am without judgment. That's what I love about the NE. No one cares what you decide as long as you stick to it. It's a truly accepting environment where being independent and free thinking is encouraged. It was perfect for me, until I entered an emotionally controlling, and I guess you could say, abusive relationship. I started over from scratch again and I'm climbing my way back to self belief.
It's ironic that someone in fashion, styling, performance, etc would be so insecure. I've gravitated to the things I'm good at and will receive praise for. I've never wanted to be average because no one notices you then. And I've always needed approval and praise for everything I've done. I'm now becoming, well learning to become, confident in my own decisions, skin and even mistakes. Whether someone believes in what I do or approves of it, I have to believe in what I do and be truly confident in order to have confidence in myself.
I wonder how many other people seemingly with everything together, are held captive by others' opinions.
My sister gave me a great study I've been reading. My whole life I've struggled with self esteem and faux esteem. You feel terrible about yourself, not believing in anything, down and depressed. And then you receive praise or approval and you feel great and truly believe in yourself again, until criticized and then you're down again. This is a truly unhealthy form of codependency.
This was my childhood and I've been doing everything I can to move on from it. I had terrible self esteem and would do something worthy of praise and would be on cloud 9, overly excited and feel truly happy. Until I did something wrong and was told how terrible I was in one way or another and I would retreat. I was trained that my behavior should be what others want it to be. It's been very hard for me to learn to make my own decisions and stick to them no matter if someone else disagreed.
I have struggled with self esteem, self worth and therefore relationships both friend and romantic, my whole life. My sister, studying counseling, recently gave me an amazing study called The Search for Significance. It's my game changer.
At one point I did feel like I had it all together and figured out. I was truly happy and confident and living my own life. I had moved to NYC and started out, no one knowing me, giving me an actual opportunity to figure out who I am without judgment. That's what I love about the NE. No one cares what you decide as long as you stick to it. It's a truly accepting environment where being independent and free thinking is encouraged. It was perfect for me, until I entered an emotionally controlling, and I guess you could say, abusive relationship. I started over from scratch again and I'm climbing my way back to self belief.
It's ironic that someone in fashion, styling, performance, etc would be so insecure. I've gravitated to the things I'm good at and will receive praise for. I've never wanted to be average because no one notices you then. And I've always needed approval and praise for everything I've done. I'm now becoming, well learning to become, confident in my own decisions, skin and even mistakes. Whether someone believes in what I do or approves of it, I have to believe in what I do and be truly confident in order to have confidence in myself.
I wonder how many other people seemingly with everything together, are held captive by others' opinions.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Bed
I have officially been laying in bed for over 4 hours. I may move to the couch for dinner. A Papa J thin crust cheese. If it makes me feel bad with the whole diabetes thing, I'll be on massive pain meds and will just sleep it off anyway.
I had a procedure today to remove pre-cancerous cells. It sucked. I mean, it was absolutely terribly awful. I didn't really tell anyone I was doing it and my Mom and Boo were there. It only took a couple hours in the waiting room and they were both sweet and patient. I was the impatient one. It's outpatient and I just wanted to get the Hell home.
I yelled out loud. I had to grab onto the nurse and hold on. And I cried. Tears streaming down my face. I cried into my ears. No one told me it would hurt so bad. And the bummer is, I get results in a week. They *think* it's pre-cancerous. It looked that way in a biopsy, but they won't know until they test what they took today. I go back in three months no matter what and get another look to see if there are more cells or if they got it all today.
I am not getting out of bed or putting on real clothes until Monday morning. I'm going to read my book club book and my fashion business book, play online, watch brainless television and chick flicks and let Boo take total care of me.
Seriously, no more illnesses. My body is tired.
I had a procedure today to remove pre-cancerous cells. It sucked. I mean, it was absolutely terribly awful. I didn't really tell anyone I was doing it and my Mom and Boo were there. It only took a couple hours in the waiting room and they were both sweet and patient. I was the impatient one. It's outpatient and I just wanted to get the Hell home.
I yelled out loud. I had to grab onto the nurse and hold on. And I cried. Tears streaming down my face. I cried into my ears. No one told me it would hurt so bad. And the bummer is, I get results in a week. They *think* it's pre-cancerous. It looked that way in a biopsy, but they won't know until they test what they took today. I go back in three months no matter what and get another look to see if there are more cells or if they got it all today.
I am not getting out of bed or putting on real clothes until Monday morning. I'm going to read my book club book and my fashion business book, play online, watch brainless television and chick flicks and let Boo take total care of me.
Seriously, no more illnesses. My body is tired.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I used to be a singer. I bought Broadway CDs and sang along in the car. I dreamed of the day I'd be on stage. I'm still in love with music, but it's been almost dumbed down by the radio.
I'm sitting here watching last week's Glee and could cry at how amazing the duet with the teacher and Kristen Chenowith is. She is ridiculous to begin with, but the quality of the vocal, the emotion, the song. It's amazing! And the best part is inspiring.
Now I want a glass of wine.
I'm sitting here watching last week's Glee and could cry at how amazing the duet with the teacher and Kristen Chenowith is. She is ridiculous to begin with, but the quality of the vocal, the emotion, the song. It's amazing! And the best part is inspiring.
Now I want a glass of wine.
Boat Baby
Misty is a prima donna city dog. She prances in walks, pees on sidewalks and refuses to get wet. However, she just spent 4 days running, sweating, playing, rolling around and generally stinking...and loving it.
We took Misty to Conroe to spend some time with Boo's family. It was their anniversary, his Mom's bday and near Mother's Day. The trifecta of "must visit." It was a weekend of Houston humidity, miles of walks, lots of food, playing in the backyard and a boat ride. Add in dinner out, a business meeting and laying by the pool and you actually have my visit as well.
My princess has converted to an outdoor pooch! However, she seemed quite pleased to have a bath this morning and had no problem curling up in the backseat on the way home, smelling lovely. In fact, she stood at the back door and cried as we packed the car. So at least she still has a heart for the city.
And one of the humans:
We took Misty to Conroe to spend some time with Boo's family. It was their anniversary, his Mom's bday and near Mother's Day. The trifecta of "must visit." It was a weekend of Houston humidity, miles of walks, lots of food, playing in the backyard and a boat ride. Add in dinner out, a business meeting and laying by the pool and you actually have my visit as well.
My princess has converted to an outdoor pooch! However, she seemed quite pleased to have a bath this morning and had no problem curling up in the backseat on the way home, smelling lovely. In fact, she stood at the back door and cried as we packed the car. So at least she still has a heart for the city.
And one of the humans:
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