Successful Fooding

The holidays are here. I have bypassed my Bah Humbug, but am not quite at Happy Holidays yet. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle with a massive stressed out to do list and nothing in my bank account. It pushes the mood back towards Bah Humbug quite easily, but... I'm working on it, people!

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I will call it a successful food endeavor. Food is a touch dicey for me at times, given the whole medical condition thing, but I survived. It was possibly questionable at times, but I learned a couple lessons and am all the better for it. I shall explain.

I made the best healthy sides. Last year I conquered the whole meal due to a last minute hospital trip for my Mamaw, but this year was spent with Boo & Co at the lake. So I made sides. I had to make sides. I was faced with casserole and die-if-you-eat-casserole and might-not-want-to-risk-it-casserole. I will admit, topped with the fact that it was my first Thanksgiving not with any of my own family or friends, I was upset. I feel like there are a handful of places in the world I can expect that I don't have to work so hard to be "normal." That there will be something for me to eat just because. I know I'm different and it's not everyone else's problem. But this was one of those places. (Expectations will bite you every time. Ouch.)

I shed a couple tears; I called my Mom for a "missing home" talk and moved on. What other choice did I have? So I made my own mashed cauliflower and cider-cinnamon sweet potatoes. They were good. They were actually great. And I had seconds of both, tossed the rest (as no one else enjoyed my personal sides) and lost 4 lbs over the last week.

Yup - you read that right.

So that's my successful fooding reward. Suck it up. Move on. Take care of your self so that you can enjoy the time with everyone and the conversation and know that you are losing weight while everyone else is gaining. That's right.

A Song For Boo

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.

It did not disappoint

I spent last weekend in NYC and it was awesome! My fantabulous Boo got up basically in the middle of the night to take me to the airport and see me off to spend some time with my girls. And spend time we did. Brunch at new West Village hotspot August, spotting celebs on the street, walking aimlessly through the historic streets, wandering in and out of unique and cute shops, stores and boutiques. I was starved for urban, fashionable, independent life and I got it!

We curled up on the couch with a bottle of red to wait out the night, chatted and had good girly time. Then painted the town with old friends, ending at Cibar - the most awesome, fabulous, fantastic martini bar outside of Union Square. I can't believe it's still there, considering I went 6 years ago!

Sunday was full of walking, shopping, mimosas, more champagne, wine, wine and a little more wine. The best and cutest that Brooklyn has to offer. I love it! Even though the weather SUCKED on Monday, it was still a day of friends, memories and great food.

I super miss that city, but I triple miss my friends. And I'm glad to have had the break so I feel fashionably and personally invigorated for my own version of reality down here in the South.

Don't worry about throwing me a parade

So this morning was the Step Out 5K. I've been gearing up for it since the day I was diagnosed last year. I've seen pictures and videos of walks in other cities or for other diseases. I needed this day as a celebration of what I've conquered this last year. Yes, I am supported, but no one truly understands what it's like unless they actually understand what it's like. I wanted a red shirt and hat, to be an out and proud diabetic. I didn't want to finagle my tester and sugar pills into a clutch, hide my pump in my clothes and still feel cute. I wanted to fit in. And I wanted to be celebrated.

As with any event for thousands of people, it was very unorganized. After standing in three different lines, we were all checked in and received our Tshirts. So I headed to the Red tent, which was sad, empty, cold and had nothing but a simple cotton hat. Even the "freebies" from the restaurant sponsors seemed confused they were at a diabetes event. They had lemonade and sugar muffins, drinks without carbs listed, etc. My family stocked up on the goodies while I kept to the breakfast I'd meticulously selected for the walk. Nothing at my fundraiser that celebrated me or made me feel that inclusion I'd been hoping for.

Then we stood around without guidance for an hour. Suddenly, people start walking. No cheering, no gun, no yelling, nothing to start it out except noticing a herd of people start out towards the marked track. So off we went. I listened to my IPod and intermittently talked with my Mom - my Dad and boyfriend walking behind us. No one cheered, no one seemed to care. And I realized something.

I wanted this to be a celebration, to make me feel rewarded for figuring this thing out for the last year. But it was just another day as a diabetic. I walked the 3.2 miles, focusing internally to make sure my blood sugar was good, held my water so I'd stay hydrated and walked as if it was any other day. I had my super small, tight support group that's been there since day one, but it was pretty much any other day. There is no celebration and there won't ever be. I'm sick. I deal with it. And I will continue to do so every day - without a parade.

and 3, and 2, and 1...

My nails are "Lincoln Park After Dark", my Uggs are cleaned (and I'm breaking them in today), my new Kors Michael Kors red peacoat a la Costco is by the wayside on the ready and my cutest leggings tops and tunics have been folded.

Just 8 more hours of work to go (already concquered 1) and it's time!! NYC! NYC! Chant with me now...NYC!

Off to tie up some loose ends at work and entrust the store to my trusty busty sidekick. Some last minute sales training and motivating and hopefully the store will pull out of its current hole while I'm gone. Probably not - but maybe. But I will be in NYC with my best friends, enjoying time just hanging out, laughing, catching up and walking around. I'm going to be a tourist with my camera; I want to bring as much of the city back with me as I can.

This is the most excited I've been for anything in years. Years, people. It's just so friggin' exciting!!

Yes, yes, yes

I am going to NYC in less than 48 hours!!! Stoked! I'm stoked. I haven't been back in 2...almost 3 years. I need this. I truly need to get back to that city, where I felt completely secure and confident (for the most part). Where I found myself. I don't mean in some cheesy made for tv movie way, but in a real and honest way. I spent my life being what everyone around me wanted or needed and there I was me. I worried about me. I loved my friends and roommates; I pushed my personal boundaries and really became comfortable in my own skin. I wish everyone had an opportunity to know themselves as well as I did in NYC.

And I'm getting to go back. To breathe again. And see my girls. And feel completely free for just a couple days. I know the decisions I make when I'm in NYC are truly my decisions - free from the pressure of wondering what someone else thinks. I am just so blissfully anticipatory.

And I got new boots for the occasion, which I have a severe crush on. I bought them outright. No sale. No coupon. No discount store. Not my style at all, but it felt good. So my boots and I are going to NYC, in less than 48 hours.

Ma fleur

Possibly the best song ever. I first heard it in a commercial, which was also brilliant. Those Chivas commercials are such amazing aspirational lifestyle moments. I've watched them with my friends in the south who look at it as an actual aspirational life. But I feel like I'm looking at my old roommates and friends in NYC when I watch that commercial.

Just having a moment on the couch. Loving the song.

New desire

So which one do I get?