vino, camels and a ride in a cop car

Hot Jen and I had a cheap night out. Seriously, my entire tab, including tip, was $24! Well, that and the $27 Rory Ashton earrings I bought. So cute! I love trunk shows and buying directly from the designer. I have a serious shopping problem.

Jen didn't get the earrings she was looking at because she wants my jumper! Yes, I wore the jumper. And yes it's that cute! I'm bringing the 30 & flirty dress with my to H-town visiting the boy's fam. Well, and probably the jumper too. It might be my most worn piece by the end of the summer.

We walked NYC style to the boutique down the way with the official Skinnygirl Margarita (and the cute earrings) and continued on foot to the wine bar just beyond. And like adults, we only shared one bottle. In our past we've been known to do quite a bit of damage, but we're trying to grow up.

After our bottle of bubbly we walked out the door to see camels caged at the club across the way. Yes - real camels. I was going to grab a picture when a cop car flew in front of us, screeched to a stop and my DPD friend looks up smiling from the driver's seat. I'll bypass pictures of a camel for a ride home any day. My heels were 3.5" tall!

Now I'm sure it looked odd to my neighbors to have a cop car pull up and let us out of  the back, but the hug farewell with a wave of thanks probably tipped them off that we weren't drunken offenders.

Off to pack, clean, organize, change sheets and finish a massive to do list, eat and be in the car for our 5 day trip in 2 hours. Yikes!

I'm a Roller Coaster

LISTENING TO: SECRET GARDEN - BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN


Good grief. Earlier today I was composing a peppy blog about sun shining and positive outlooks and focusing on all the good in life. And I am still willing that girl to stick around. She's been spending time as CMO/CSO of the company lately and loving it! I totally miss PR and I'm glad to be spending my days doing it again, along with Buying and Event Planning. Albeit, stressful doing all jobs at once. I need an intern. A free one.

I digress.

I sit drinking my diet coke feeling cute following my monthly Bliss appointment. I feel sexy. I'm excited about tonight! Party at the boutique down the street followed by cheap bottle of wine at the wine bar, trolley ride home. Grand total of $25 down and a fun night!

AND my jumper came today! The one I obsessively posted about before with the harem pants? It's here! Now I don't know if I want to wear that or the 30 & flirty dress and boots! I need my friend to come over early and dress me!

However, then I get another bill from another procedure. I am only $650 away from my $3000 out of pocket max for the entire year. And to pay the bill, I can't renew my season tickets for my alma mater on the hill. I want to throw something. I can't imagine an entire season without tickets! Without the games! I went to every game for the last 2 years!! Before that I followed them because I lived 1,000 miles away from here. I am just so peeved!

But then again, I'm healthy-ish. I'm at least getting treatment for everything I need. And at least I hadn't already bought the tickets and then not had the money for this bill.

And the sun is, in fact, shining. And I will share a bottle of wine with my super hot girlfriend and look cute. We'll take pictures.

I think I need a run. I'm getting addicted.

30, Flirty & Fabulous

My birthday dress! The necklace isn't mine. This is just the picture from my fav new boutique I bought it from.

I do believe I'll be wearing it early, though. I'm feeling my flat, over the knee grey suede boots all scrunched down with this dress and my sheer Isli sweater for fabulous girls night Thursday!

Off to the trail. It's a perfect 65-degree, sunny day and my Ipod needs a workout.

Iced Chocolate

Life is so chock full of changes that I have no control over that I'm taking back a bit of control with some hair dye. I have been coloring my hair almost black, yet still a bit brown for an actual decade. It is time for a switch. I'm entering the next decade of my life with Iced Chocolate hair, which means a dark brown with red. I hate red in my hair, which makes it silly to have bought a red hair dye; however, I need to spice things up when I look in the mirror. So Iced Chocolate it is.

As for what I can't control, finances are in the toilet, thank you unemployment and ever-rising medical bills. So May is my last month of memberships. I have canceled the massages and tanning. It sucks, but it's $75 a month back in my pocket.

I also cannot control the dog dump of medical issues I have. Not only am I stuck to a portable device every minute of every day, (I clip it to my boxers or underwear when I sleep and tuck it in my bra or a pocket every day), but now I'm going in for a girlie doctor procedure. I had an abnormal test, which lead to a biopsy and is now leading to a procedure. I am pre-cancerous. It is pre, which is better than right in the middle of it. But the doctor said my condition is severe and we need to act quickly and I am on watch for new cells for the next 2.5 years before they'll clear me. I'm pretty sure I'm already infertile thanks to cysts on my ovaries, and now cells have invaded my cervix. Good thing I hate kids.

In addition, the store should be settled by next week. Papers either signed with move in scheduled, construction underway and product ordered, or close up shop and get your ass a real job.

AND I enter my 30s in 33 days. Big party was planned, but turns out the boy and I are simultaneously poor so we will not be doing anything beyond dinner at my parents house. Lame.

So yes, I am dying my hair Iced Chocolate. Red is change. I hate red. But I hate everything else going on too, so at least I can control the color of my hair, even if I hate it.

Fashion for the fashionable

I was just asked by a dear friend, via her assistant, to give some fashion tips for an upcoming newsletter. My gorgeous friend is a makeup artist and in addition to making brides look perfect for their days (or photo shoots or whatever), she does classes, seminars and a newsletter. She's a regular ol' beauty guru. So here's what I just sent to her:

My personal styling tips are always to mix a bit of the trends with your personal style. Never go too far in one direction or you'll be out of fashion within minutes of being in style. Whatever you wear, do it with confidence. "Fake it till you make it." Everyone will think you look great if think you do too.

Don't spend too much on high fashion items either, unless you have the disposable income to do so, which most of us don't. Invest in staple pieces and use mid-priced or even discount fashion stores for super trendy items.

As for actual style for the hot summer of Dallas: 

Jumpers, rompers, whatever you want to call them. Strapless, floral, silk, cotton, denim. Buy one and wear it often. The best bet is one that is versatile and could be worn shopping on a Saturday in sandals, but looks awesome with stilettos, chandelier earrings and a clutch for date night. My personal choice this year was incredibly inexpensive. I have a strapless, silk blend, bright color and paid less than $50. Shop around. It's great with wedges, pumps, sandals or flip flops. I love this trend so much that I bought two and my second is black, cotton, strapless with 3/4 length harem legs. This, too, can be worn over a swimsuit or out with the girls.

Secondly, strappy flat sandals. Any style, any color. I have a shoe obsession so don't ask how many I have. Metallic, leather, patent, white, black, tan, gold. Skinny, single strap, or multi straps up the ankle. Just get something to spice up your shorts and sundresses besides generic flip flops.

Hats. I personally love a good straw hat for the summer. I have the ever traditional straw cowboy hat for the pool (this is Texas) and another straw fedora from Urban Outfitters last summer. I also have a couple cotton cadet caps from Intuition I've worn for years every summer. Hats give you a bit of a fashion edge, protects from harsh summer sun, hides pool hair and makes you stand out in the crowd just a bit.

And last, denim is not just for jeans anymore. The lighter the better, but any color works. This is a little more of a fashion risk, because it isn't denim the way you'd expect. I'm not thinking shorts, jeans and skirts, but more vests, minidresses and rompers. I have a cropped denim jacket I wear over sundresses instead of a sweater. It's edgier and honestly, less maintenance. You can throw it around without worrying about wrinkles and wash it half as much. And if you're really wanting to be the fashionista in the crowd, of course on a budget, Forever 21 has about five different denim minidresses in stores right now.

Life is really a trippy ride. In one day a life is close to ending and another receives serious relief. I just constantly have to remind myself that it's about the day to day. Don't get so caught up in trying to reach a certain goal, but rather enjoy the ups and downs of how you get to the goal.

My Mamaw is back in the hospital, her prognosis poor. They're suggesting hospice. My Mom is devastated. I can't imagine making that call and being in her place. I can only try and help where I can, which isn't much.

I, too, am waiting for results on a biopsy and dealing with my already precarious day to day health issues. A year ago I would never have considered myself a sickly person, but now I'm connected to a pump through my abdomen, spending thousands on medical bills and waiting for the worst from doctors at all times. That's why I am so glad to be doing my own thing with work. As stressful as it is to be your own provider, I have such an appreciation for life I didn't have before. Everything is an opportunity to experience - the good, the terrible and the awful. I'm really working to keep my outlook focused and my stress level down. Like I just said before, it's the day to day that's living. Life doesn't start once you reach a goal. It's now. It's overcoming what just happened or getting through what's going on. The shit. That's what life is. It's really living. Relationship struggles, friendship issues, health warnings, job problems. That's life. So put a smile on your face and live it.

At least that's what I'm trying to do.

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me 

Today Sucks

Did that just happen?

This could be a weekly segment on anyone's blog. People are nuts and when you witness odd behavior it is definitely worth mentioning.

Following my lady doctor appointment yesterday I needed to use the ladies room. It was a quick outing; my bladder was just a little full. As I enter I can tell the person in the stall next to me has been in there for a while, if you know what I mean. Yes, gross. I plug my nose and quicken my steps. She flushes the courtesy flush. I've heard about it, but never actually been around one before.

As I close the door behind me, she starts talking. She.Is.On.The.Phone. And the person on the other end is so loud that I can hear them. She is doing business in a hospital bathroom on her cell phone! Who knows how long she was in there before or after me? I was in and out in about 2 minutes!

Seriously, did that just happen?

It's my appointment

And I'll cry if I want to.

And cry, cry I did. And have mucho time since as well. I had a not so pleasant trip to the woman doctor yesterday. Unfortunately it was not a routine visit and there was a procedure involved. Last visit there were tests that lead to said procedure. Apparently insurance didn't see fit to cover even half as much as I paid, therefore, I was slapped with $125 owed from my last visit in addition to my copay when I walked in.

Is this worth tears normally? No. Did I cry and have to pace around the office, slightly yelling at the receptionist, ultimately having to excuse myself to a bathroom stall where I cried it out, applied a little makeup, put on my glasses and went back to wait for the appointment? Well, yes. Yes I did.

See, I am unemployed AND trying to start a company AND recently diabetic AND paying $2000 in medical bills already this year and it's only April. So yes, I cried. I had $2 in my bank account, $27 in cash, only because my loving boyfriend had given me $20 for gas that I hadn't yet used. So to receive a bill for more money was too much.

Plus, there's a little emotional leeway when dealing with procedures in the woman doctor's office - I think so anyway.

So yes, I cried. I cried at the doctor before my appointment even took place. And yes, I cried after I got home and in the shower and laying in bed and again this morning. And guess what? It's my appointment and I can cry if I want to. (although my face is really drying out and needs a break).

I'm pumped

I am literally pumped. No, seriously. I am literally connected to a pump. It's craziness! Yet so cool at the same time. I definitely feel a bit like a sick person. I have to disconnect for showers, pool, getting dressed, etc. I even wear when I sleep. Good thing I don't sleep on my stomach.

It's kind of amazing how far modern medicine has come. I mean, it's practically an external pancreas in the size of a pager that fits in my bra. That's quite incredible. So I'm thrilled with it. It's a brilliant computer with all these mathematical equations built in. There's even a computer program that builds reports for study. So it seems this diabetes thing is becoming more maintainable by the day.

No "woe is me." No "woe is me." I just have to keep repeating it over and over again. Now if I can just get through my next doctor appointment on Monday afternoon, which unfortunately is for something else not even related to diabetes, then I might start to think I'll be okay.

It's actually kind of cool. Check it out!

Brilliance!

I am obsessed with SATC. Carrie Bradshaw is officially my hero. In fact, the best birthday present in the world is a gift straight from the NY girls (or rather the studio publishing said NY girls). SATC2 comes out on my 30th birthday weekend! Pure perfection.

Also perfection? The necklace I had made. I've had a nameplate necklace for years. I wear it every day with everything. I rarely see them, so I love it! I also love Carrie's necklace from the Russian at the end of Season 6. Hers was diamonds. But a girls gotta do her own thing.

I recently went to Michael's where I purchased crystal stones. I then took them to a jewelry store where I purchased a silver chain and had them sauter the stones in and shorten the length. Voila! My second SATC necklace and, might I say, a quite rare and fabulous design. Total cost? $25. I should make them and sell for $60.

Snookie is my bus driver

I dreamed last night that I was on a large scale road trip with some dream friends and Snookie. We were in an 18-wheeler size RV that was two stories, had multiple bedrooms, a working kitchen, living room and back patio. And Snookie wouldn't let me drive. She and her bumpit took us out on the open road and winding through neighborhoods (which is tricky in an 18-wheeler size RV).

And my future bridesman went on a trip to Mexico and met a British Pop Star/TV Personality. Except that really happened and was not part of my dream. I'm planning the wedding in a castle. He's deciding if it's worth pursuing with a trip. I think we'll all end up on the same page.

Red, red wine

Is the best song in the world!!!!! And a great drink.

What a fantastic way to start the morning. A little 80s reggae, vanilla soy milk in my coffee, almost 9am and I'm still in my robe and slippers. AND a pedicure scheduled this afternoon, girls dinner tonight at The Fish and my pump arrives today.

Man, I just can't even comprehend it.

red, red wine....stay close to meeeee.

Shout out to Bliss

Holy crap. I haven't felt this relaxed in months! Shout out to the Bliss Spa. I had a not-so-pleasant appointment, but with a fantastic aesthetician. Then I stuck around, swapped my clothes for a robe and enjoyed the spa. I had a 15 minutes Steam/Shower. It's unbelievable. The steam rises from the floor with eucalyptus and the cool water walls from a waterfall in the ceiling. The amenities smell phenomenal. I mean, I really and truly relaxed.

Bliss Spa is my sanctuary. I'll still take my dime a dozen cheap massages at Massage Envy, even though they aren't the best nor the most relaxing. But I can afford them every three weeks. And I'll have to add in some extra time in that steam shower at my monthly Bliss appointment.

I just lit a candle, had a bottle of water and am going to lay around before cooking dinner and heading out to celebrate two friends' engagement.

Happy Monday

LISTENING TO: MOBY
Happy Monday/Day after Easter. It's such a dreary Monday. I did NOT want to get out of bed this morning. The alarm went off over an hour before I dragged my butt to the coffee maker and shower, in said order.

This whole business/lease/financing thing has my mood in a tizzy. I am broke and bored. I'm also a little pschizo bc I feel really happy, peaceful and grateful that I'm working towards my own business and don't hate my "real world" prospects either. I have a lot to be happy about, but I am female and therefore not always such.

I AM looking forward to my Bliss appt at 3pm today. I heart that place and no matter my reason for going, I'm taking comfy clothes because I will finish my appt and sit in the Eucalyptus steam shower. Ah, pure bliss, literally. And even though I had to pull funds from saving this morning, I am going to pick up my alterations/dry cleaning/watches being held hostage at their respective fix-it places. I will also be picking up my SATC necklace I had made. I hope it's as fantabulous as I think it will be. Picture to follow soon!!

Simple Wonders

I went for a run today down Cole and ran headfirst into the most beautiful lavendar. I had to stop, take a picture and literally smell the flowers. It was kind of an amazing moment!

That's right

Take on Me

LISTENING TO A-HA TAKE ON ME
That's right. Take on Me. The classic 80s peppy song with the iconic music video and my ringtone for years through college. I was known for it.

A little A-Ha and my coffee and I am gearing up for today. I am going to continue my buy, continue sales and check out some new spaces. I am going to eat on time and healthy and take my vitamins. No bad news from any area of my life is going to bust me up today. I took yesterday off completely, had an uber expensive glass of fantastic Conundrum wine from World Market and today is looking good.