Conundrum Time

I'm slowly figuring out my conundrum of life - how to de-stress, stay happy, focused and social, all while in a productive and happy relationship with both myself and my significant other.

Aren't we all? Can I please meet the person who believes they have the recipe? Seriously.

So I've come up with a small way to help myself with this quandry - be a little selfish. I don't mean in the "I want one, so give it to me" sense. But in the" take time for myself and light a candle because I need it, or take a bath even though it takes up the bathroom an extra 10 minutes and tell everyone to just hush it for at least 15 minutes a day for a quiet time" kind of way. That will keep me chill and sane and in turn makes me more able to love and appreciate those around me, as well as myself. Now to actually find that time every day...

First step was to actually pay someone to professionally clean the entire apartment. And since Boo is leaving town for almost a week, I know it will stay clean at least that long. Ugh, so nice.

Great State Fair

I just got back from the State Fair. It was actually a really monumental moment for me. I've only been to the fair twice in my life, the second being this evening. And it was a perfect remedy for memories from the first time.

A couple of years ago I went to the fair for my engagement pictures. Yes, engagement pictures. They were perfect. It was like moments of happiness and an amazing love story captured in time. The real truth is that he was pissy and annoyed before the pictures were over...true to form. But it's the only memory I have of the fair - the rides, the fun house and the picture in front of the Midway.

So tonight I went with Boo and we went in style. Our friend is a Lieutenant and in charge of security for the entire shabang and got is in VIP. We were escorted to private parking and taken in the golf cart through the back entrance. Saved $45 in tickets and parking right there. We drank beer, ate sausage on a stick and split a corndog. I won a tigger-ish stuffed Tiger and we watched a pig race. (my favorite moment ever!) It was hot, tiring, crowded and perfect. Best of all, we're home on the couch, feet on the coffee table with TV and food, Misty on the floor. This time, the fair ended well. No pictures to prove it, but that's OK. I'm glad to take these steps, even if I'm the only one that ever knows the meaning in them.

Pure Relax-ment

I could not be happier in this exact moment. I found the cure for my bad moods. A bona fide fix-it, sort of a thing. I took Monday morning and got a half off massage at a 4-star hotel spa. Yes, half off. And those smart kids have left me with two more coupons, meaning I will keep returning. It's the cost of a slightly nicer than normal place with all my coupons. But, holy crap, worth it.

So I got an hour long aromatherapy massage on Monday preceded with THE fluffiest, comfiest robe ever. I want one! Then I got a manicure at the local place by the store with my favorite color "Lincoln Park after Dark." I was sore the entire rest of the day, but have not been anything but happy and relaxed ever since! It's a miracle cure!!

And tonight I found the secret to the most amazing thing ever - the perfect steak. Pretty much, my Dad and Nick & Sam's have been the only people to make me a perfect steak in my whole life. I like a crunchy outside with a rare-medium rare inside. It's actually pretty hard to make. But with the combination of Kuby's filet (buy the frozen 1-day old steak and it's half the price), Saltgrass seasoning mixed with Cavendar's Greek seasoning rubbed in with olive oil, and the cast iron grill I made the most amazing, wonderful, orgasmically fantastic filet. No man has ever made me a filet this perfect (except my Dad). I will forever take over the steak grilling.

I picked up a bottle of $7 red wine that is actually good and I'm in an absolute state of perfection! Off to bed now and then tomorrow I'll be sure and schedule the next round of massage (and pedi) at my new fav 4-star hotel spa. Ugh, heaven.

Way to go, Boys

This is awesome.

The dog days are over

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

And i never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

Me-oh-mi-oh!

Me oh my! I cannot believe I am sitting here in the apt alone listening to the Adult Alternative TV music station! Tea in the old Deeg mug. All I need is my purple lights and I'd feel like I was back in my tiny cave in NYC. Not sure how my living room now feels like that - maybe it's just me that feels like that. (Man, I miss that place). (And I believe with Halloween approaching I could actually find some of those purple lights. Two sets. Bedroom and office).

But I am happy and healthy and all around excited! I just had a little sample sale in my living room. Girls in the building had me bring stuff home for the big fooseball game this weekend. It's quite the shindig down at the beat up stadium south of downtown. OMG, we might even have tickets this year. And, funny thing, I know just where to get a super cute dress for the occasion...

The weather is super Fall-ish in the mornings and apparently cooling again, the store - aka my dream job - is doing amazing, I received a request for an interview in-store next week with a local pub!!!! and I have a wonderful and relaxing massage scheduled for Monday morning. I'm heading to the swanky hotel down the way for a 1/2 off aromatherapy massage. I am stoked. I need a serious, serious relaxation day. I'm going to try and top it off with girls dinner the next night. Done and done.

So needless to say, the uplifting mood is much appreciated and overdue. It's been a long month without any medication and my hormones are happy to be balanced again.

Off to catch up my Rachel Zoe! And drink my floral tea and sit back in my scrubs chilling in my alone time with the dog. *sigh* So nice.

Ugh

I am a yo-yo, a roller coaster, whatever symbolizes up and down. Constantly. All day. I want to beat my own head with a rock. I am one month with no birth control due to my chronic illness and no health insurance company feeling the need to cover me and I am going crazy. Literally. I feel nuts!

I have a condition called PCOS (add it to the list) which means I overproduce testosterone for a female and I get rage. Actually, clinically proven rage. Like a man. But as a female you just don't know what to do because you honestly create enough emotions on your own! So I am PMSing, dealing with some massive back pain from God-knows-what and pissy. Super pissy. I mean, today just blows.

But I'm a total yo-yo about it. On my way in I was smiling and enjoying the radio, thinking about how positive my morning was. Then the idiots on the road began to get to me and I was road raged by the time I got here. Then as I calm down and get into my fashion element I have a great interaction with a customer. Then Boo calls and flips out about sales numbers. Hello! It's 11:30am. Do you think I'm going to have reached goal yet? PS - after yesterday we're up for the month!!

Mood down.

Then I enjoy my lunch and see an awesome football video online and get all happy again, until emails come in that make no sense to me and I just can't even find motivation for my to-do list.

I would suggest just leaving me alone today. Honestly? Probably a best bet...