Most Awkward First Date

But it wasn't a first date. In fact, since I have a boyfriend and this was another female, it technically wasn't a date at all. However, if it had been a first date, it would have been the most awkward ever.

My hot girlfriend (she's a girl and a friend) and I went on a girl date this week. I had two screening passes to a new chick flick and then we'd continue our tradition of sushi dinner. Walking to the theater we're informed that the screening is already full. Overbooked. OK, scratch that, let's just do dinner.

We were in a burbish neighborhood so we were trying somewhere new. I typed the addy into my new IPhone and off we went - for about 5 miles into the suburbs. No restaurants around. This cannot be right. So I ignore the directions and decide to check the address. Which took us all the way back to where we started - at a location we had both already been to. However that restaurant had closed and this was some 2-month old sushi spot in its place.

30 minutes into our failed attempt at a date we get a table. I'm newly diabetic and hadn't tried sushi yet with the insulin, so it was a total shit show trying to order from our waitress that spoke little to broken English and just smiled and nodded. Eventually the bartender took our order and filled us in on cucumber-wrapped sushi, no rice. Rock on! I can still eat my fav food!

Spicier than hell edamame that left seasoning in your teeth and a hole in your stomach, a questionable "sampler" that was in a beautiful martini glass, 2 rolls, a mixup between sushi and sashimi and a bottle of wine later we had made our way through dinner mainly unscathed. Now the check. After 30 minutes of empty wine glasses, empty plates and no contact with our waitress I waved her over. She smiled and walked away. After 30 more minutes we finally got her over. I needed change. At one point my friend noticed our waitress peering through the circle glass in the kitchen watching us to see when we leave. (insert dumbfounded look here). I still need change and only have $2.25 towards her tip - not enough by half. So I get my change from the bartender. When I get up, the waitress runs over and swipes the half tip off the table. I put the rest of the tip on the now empty table, shook my head and we left. I hope the waitress went back to get the rest of her tip.

If we didn't know each other so well that would have been a super awkward hour. How many times can you make the joke "gee, I wonder where our waitress is?" Why is dating, even if it isn't really dating, always so ridiculous?