The future of me

If you know me and you're reading this, set down your coffee mug. I don't want to be responsible for shattered glass when you drop it. Ready? Ok.

I don't find all children totally annoying anymore. In fact, I actually find some of them completely adorable and I get this really weird, dare I say...maternal...instinct at times.

I KNOW! Craziness. Shut your mouth ridiculousness. I have no idea where it came from. It so just happened.

My friends from middle school and high school, as in those people that I hung around with, yet haven't spoken to for years outside of Facebook, are all on Baby Two and sometimes Three. My current circle is over half engaged or married, homeowners and all around grownups.

Is this a product of living in the South? Absolutely. I crave NYC. I miss the city. I miss the lifestyle. I miss the attitude. But I don't think it's better than the life I have for myself in Dallas. So I can't deny that I am obviously influenced by what's around me all the time down here.

So, yes. I can see a family one day. House first with dogs. But the conversation has been discussed about trying in maybe five years, pending what life throws at us. WHAT?!!?? Yes. Again, I know. But this leads me to a lot of really sad things that make it very hard not to feel sorry for myself as I mentioned in my last post. And I have a terrible habit of stressing about the future when it really doesn't deserve it. But to add it all up: I have PCOS, have burst cysts, have scar tissue on my uterus. Good luck getting in there little swimmers. I have Type-1 Diabetes and have since been sick with everything I possibly could because I'm apparently closer to the "Steel Magnolia" side of the disease. The whole idea requires a massive team of doctor approval before you can even try. And I recently had pre-cancerous cells (and one evil cell) removed, weakening my cervix, which leads to bed-rest or early birth - like after 3 months.

Would you try?

All I have to say is: Oy Vey!